[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 245 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Hello beautiful mamas. I am so happy you are here listening to this podcast. I think it's a really important and vital one and could be a huge change maker in your life for the better. Those of you who are familiar with my work and my mission and my tools and strategies, either from learning to listening to this podcast or learning from me in, in person, my coaching program, then you know, and are familiar with my basic mission being that I [00:01:00] want to get moms to feel better.
I definitely want moms to have more peace in their life. And you can kind of tell from the title of this podcast, right? The Peaceful Mind Podcast for busy moms. I want you to have more peace of mind because I know when moms are feeling better, when moms are feeling good, and this is true for humans really that we just do better and you know, that word better is subjective, but it comes back to, we show up like we want to be.
We experience life how we want to. For us women of faith, we think things like I am living out the life that God intended me to live. And then when we're not feeling good, we are then driving actions in our life that then we aren't thrilled with, we're not happy with, maybe takes us out of our peace.
So this episode, I want to give you five emotions for [00:02:00] you to get some awareness about today and to start avoiding as much as possible. And if you do, you will for sure be creating a life that you enjoy more and that you have more peace around. So in my life coach certification process, I learned, we dove really deep into our feelings and what creates them and what they drive in our life and ultimately what the results we get in our life, how that is affected from our feelings and emotions on a really basic level. We all know that, right? Like when we have good emotions, like we're usually liking life. And then when we have really strong, negative, like hard emotions, we're challenged, right?
We don't like it. And our brain is fighting [00:03:00] them. They, as soon as we're feeling them, the brain is telling us to hurry up and do something to get out of them. Now, On the flip side, I want to say that emotions are amazing. They are because they drive the actions that we take. And as a human being, we will all be feeling our emotions and have emotions and an array of motions our whole life, our whole time experiencing here on earth.
Now, I do think that when we go to heaven, it is probable for us to have totality when it comes to positive emotions. But here on earth, we are going to have time and experiences and events that will create a plethora of emotions, some positive, some negative that just makes up our human experience.
And so what I want to start out is to give you a [00:04:00] visualization. I want to give you a visualization is that someone is presenting to you a silver platter. Okay. And on that silver platter, it's not money, it's not food. Every day you are being presented a silver platter with a choice of hundreds of emotions, hundreds of feelings, and you were given this power to be able to choose whatever emotion you want.
And there are, like I said, there are, there are a lot of them. Now, this tray is a mixture. You've got lots of positive emotions on it and you have lots of negative emotions. And then I want you to visualize that whatever is presented to you in life, whatever your circumstances are, whatever the situations are, whatever the facts that you have going on in your life right now.
So that would be how many kids you have, if you're married or not, what your religion is, who your family members are, if [00:05:00] you work or outside the home, just everything that if someone says, tell me what are all the current facts of your life, you would, you would mention that.
And then as you're progressing through life, life will bring you different and more circumstances and experiences, and that is like waking up every day. We're going to have circumstances that we're dealing with today, and we're going to have new ones that are going to come our way. So every single day, when we have those circumstances, we are also presented with this tray of emotions, and it is literally it's only up to ourselves to choose and pick them.
So where I'm getting at is that out of all of these emotions, there is going to be five emotions that every day will be an option for you on that tray that I'm wanting to teach you or to open you up to these specific options. [00:06:00] Emotions and feelings to kind of put a flag up and a new like awareness, a new piece of knowledge to go into your mind.
And that is that we want to avoid these five emotions if we can now, because we're not perfect here on this human life, I know we can't be perfect at avoiding these emotions, but I also know that as busy moms through my own personal experience and coaching hundreds of you, that I have seen the outcomes from using and picking up and choosing these emotions. And it's never helpful, never serving.
Now positive emotions like enthusiastic, happy, determined curious, courageous, focused, enthusiastic. Did I say that one already? I've been having that one on my mind a lot. I'm really diving into the things that I'm really enthusiastic [00:07:00] about. Okay. And then we're also going to have the option on this tray of emotions to choose to feel negative ones.
So we can choose to feel angry. We can choose to feel sad and grief. We can choose to feel disappointed. We can choose to feel heartbroken, hurt, frustrated, annoyed. But there are five emotions that when you feel them, they will not drive any kind of action that will then produce a result or an outcome that will be helpful or serving to your life, your busy mom life in any form or fashion.
And these are the five emotions, worry, confusion, overwhelm, Self doubt and guilt. Now just let those five sit there for a minute. And I'm just curious for you to ask yourself, do you feel any of those [00:08:00] feelings on a regular basis? I bet a lot of you will say, yes, I do. Okay. First of all, let's say, until we know better, we can't do better until it's been brought to our attention.
We might not be able to make any change or do anything about it, but that's why I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're listening and I hope that you might be open and willing to To contemplate what I'm offering you today and more so to notice more often when you are actually finding yourself feeling these particular emotions again, worry, overwhelm, self doubt, confusion, guilt.
It doesn't help us at all. So I've done podcasts on these, on some of these individually before, and I'm not asking you to never feel this way before, but if you want more peace of mind in your life, if you want to feel better about how life [00:09:00] is going and the way you're experiencing it, I really want to urge you to make it something that you go after is to feel this, these emotions. Least amount as possible or what I, what I know could be a great first step is that to become more aware to name it, to tell yourself, to ask, like, what am I feeling?
And if one of these five come up, Then can you investigate, get curious, find out what you're thinking that's creating these feelings and can you pivot and redirect in that moment knowing that it won't serve you, it won't serve your children, won't serve your relationships, your life, your outcomes, your results, your goals, it won't serve you.
To have that positive result or outcome if the actions you're taking are being driven from these particular [00:10:00] feelings. So I want you to just become aware that when you are feeling these five emotions, it is costing you. It's costing you dearly because your overall wellness, your emotional, your mental well being is suffering.
If you are feeling worried, confused, overwhelmed, doubtful, confused, did I say that one already? And guilty. If you are feeling these, it is costing you. And so let's talk a little bit, let's kind of, let me give you some examples of what I mean about the kind of actions that you might be taking when you are feeling these emotions.
So let's start with worry. Okay. So if you are thinking thoughts about your life or your children or any circumstances, and that particular way of [00:11:00] thinking is creating the vibration in your body, the emotion, the feeling, which that's what emotions and feelings are, they're vibrations in your body of worry.
Okay. These are some of the actions that worry drives you to carry out when you're feeling worried. We could be constantly checking on our children, even when they're safe. We could be over researching or over planning for future events. And usually what that's stemming from is trying to avoid. the future event being negative.
Okay. When we're worried, we ask for reassurance repeatedly from our spouses or our friends. When we're worried, we stay up late. It affects and our sleep, if we're unable to sleep due to having all these thoughts of like, what if kind of circling in our head. When we worry, we end up micromanaging like our kids, their schedules, their activities, because we're trying to avoid any [00:12:00] risk. But I want you to see that there's really not positive results that come from these actions.
Okay. The next one, overwhelm. What are some actions? What would it look like if we're feeling overwhelmed? We will, that overwhelm drives us to procrastinate on our tasks because we thinking there's so much to do, or we don't know where to start.
When we're feeling overwhelmed, we may snap at our kids or our partner due to creating the feeling of overwhelmed maybe from the feeling also being overstretched, which is another version of overwhelm. Again, coming from there, there's so much to do. How will I do it all? Like kind of swirling in your, in your head.
Overwhelm may drive the action of us crying or retreating to our room, right? Like withdrawing to be alone. Overwhelm may have a saying yes to things that we actually don't have time for, which then we're [00:13:00] adding to our burden of overwhelm. When we are creating the feeling of overwhelm for ourselves, we then maybe zone out.
This is when we might scroll on social media or we just want to avoid facing our to do list. If our to do list feels overwhelming again, if this feels familiar to you what I want you to see from this is that we call these feelings, these five feelings that I'm naming here, we call them indulgent emotions.
And really what we're doing is we're indulging in a feeling that is not helping us or serving us in any way. You really can't get a positive result from procrastinating your tasks, snapping at your kids, retreating to your room, saying yes to things you don't have time for, and zoning out on social media.
Okay. Confusion. That's the next one. When we feel confused, this drives actions like jumping between tasks without completing [00:14:00] one before we, before we jump. It also drives us to ask multiple people for their advice. But then what happens is now we're back in overwhelm because we're overwhelmed by all their different opinions.
Confusion has us, and this is what I want to stress the most. It has us putting off decisions. And that definitely holds us back in our mom life. And the reason why we do that is because our brain is telling us that we hope that clarity is going to come at a later time, but that is just a false sense.
Confusion keeps us stuck. If we're confused, we might like revisit the same choices again and again and again, not make progress. When we are confused, we might, you know, maybe buy or go look at a lot of things outside of us that we think is going to help us give us the answer. Like we think that that tool will be the answer, but then what happens is we end up not using them.
But for sure, we're, we're no closer when we're confused to finding out what the right answer is for us, literally with [00:15:00] confusion. When you feel it, the action is mostly do nothing, not choose, don't decide, which when that happens. Do you see how you cannot get a positive result for yourself in your life?
Okay. The next one is doubt. When we are feeling doubt, what actions that produce is that we constantly second guess our decisions and parenting decisions. We avoid pursuing our own personal goals or dreams because we're doubting ourself, our capabilities, where we have this fear of failure. When we are feeling doubt, a lot of times we find the action from that is then we compare ourselves to other moms and then we even feel more like worse.
We feel more inadequate. So look how you know, doubt can like then spur on to fear or doubt then spurs on to inadequacy. It's actually this roll away train again, showing you how it's not serving you in any way. It's not helping this emotion of doubt. So when we doubt [00:16:00] we seek validation from others instead of trusting our own instincts. And when we're doubting, we don't usually speak up for what we need or want because we doubt our worth.
And then the last indulgent emotion that I want you to avoid, because if you do, you will have a more peaceful mind and therefore a more peaceful life and that is guilt. When we feel guilty, that drives the action of like overcompensating by doing too much, and maybe it's too much for others, and then we end up neglecting ourselves apologizing excessively even when it's not even necessary.
Now I know sometimes I get a lot of questions when it comes to guilt because we think that now isn't apologizing a good thing? Yes. However, when we take the action of apologizing, that's not actually driven from guilt. We apologize. And that action is driven because of a different thought in feeling like determined or focused or [00:17:00] committed.
Okay. But when we are feeling guilty, when we are actually thinking thoughts that create us feeling guilty about our circumstances, we may Allow our kids to break boundaries out of fear of being a bad mom. When we feel guilty, we might feel unable to ask for help because we believe that we should be able to handle it all ourselves.
If you're feeling guilty, that sometimes drives the action of punishing ourselves mentally. And then I know that this happens when we feel guilty for taking a break or practicing self care. So these are the examples that I want to just kind of get going for you to see, like out of these five, which ones do you think is where you get tripped up the most?
You may not even have a hard time with all of them, you might be like, well, I don't really doubt myself. I feel really confident, but I'm definitely not great at making decisions and I'm confused a lot. I want to bring these five to your attention today, [00:18:00] knowing that when you create these emotions and it is us again, picking, we get to be the ones who pick how we feel.
It isn't caused by anything outside of us. So what happens is that actions from these emotions, worry, doubt, confused, guilt, overwhelm, they create patterns for us, impact our peace and in our ability to function effectively. If they do not drive actions that will result in positive outcomes for ourselves, our family, and our lives.
So I hope that these examples kind of helped illustrate to you how those emotions may play out in daily life. But I'd like you to reflect and reflect and just ask yourself, okay, what do I really do when I am confused? What do I do when I feel guilty? How does overwhelm, how is it affecting me in my [00:19:00] actions when in my life, when I'm overwhelmed and what is resulting from my worry, like what really is, is, am I creating for myself from this emotion of worry and what you will find is that you won't be able to find an upside because there are zero upsides to the outcomes that come from the actions that are driven by these five emotions.
So again, I wanted to bring them to your attention. I wanted to let you know that it is definitely costing you every time you're feeling them. I wanted to remind you that we are the ones who choose how we feel from our own thinking and thought patterns.
And I also want to remind you that we're human beings and so we will feel these feelings, but I hope that they are more like on an occasion and not like your default, not [00:20:00] your daily emotions. And if you do find yourself, you have more awareness around them, hopefully if you hadn't already that that's what this episode is provided for you, then can you pivot when you're in one of those feelings?
Can you redirect yourself, try a different action maybe take your mind to something else that might be true about your situation that can help you feel a more useful emotion and help, because again, these five are robbing you of your peace. Okay. That is what I have for you today, mamas. And I just want to let you know that I touch on these emotions and help you navigate feeling them less and getting out of them.
There are some specific tools and strategies that once you know, you can apply and see really the positive [00:21:00] change that you'll be looking for. So if you are a mom who wants to worry less, if you want to not be overwhelmed as much, if you want to become a stronger decision maker and get out of confusion, if you have any kind of self doubt and you are wanting to stop doubting yourself and become more confident, and if you want to learn how to feel less guilty about your life so that you can maybe take on some of these new dreams that you want to go after or create something new in your life and not have to feel guilty about it because of your current situations, then I would love to help you.
You can bring it to a Back to Balance strategy call. And we will work on it and get a plan right there. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I hope you have a great rest of your week and until next time, may peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's [00:22:00] episode of the peaceful mind podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review.
It not only supports the podcast but insures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help.
Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. I've got you covered explore my private one on one packages, join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course, Divine Time to find out which path is right for you.
Let's meet and see what's the best fit schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com. Or send me a direct message on Facebook or [00:23:00] Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method: How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom.
Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
