[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 243 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Well hi there, beautiful mamas. I'm so glad you're here today. Now if you've been a long time listener, and we have never met either on a call or through email messaging or even a DM on social media I want to ask you to reach out. I want to encourage you that if you have found real value from listening to the peaceful mind podcast yet we've never engaged together in some form or fashion I would [00:01:00] love to meet you now.
One of the ways that is just easy to get on my calendar and to ensure that we can be face to face is booking one of my Back to Balance strategy calls. Now, just to let you know, on that call, I have this specific exercise that helps give you immediate clarity on what areas in your life that you are out of balance.
And we get some strategies and tools just by meeting together that are going to have you immediately being able to take action on what needs to happen next for you to get back into balance. But besides that, I know that there are many of you that listen to this podcast week to week and I'm just curious and wondering for you to ask yourself, what is holding you back from actually getting the, the personal help to be able to apply what you're hearing here in long [00:02:00] term kind of really sustainable ways.
If you're at all curious here, if you're in and listening to this episode, right when it comes out, this is such a beautiful chance to end the year because we've got three months left where you will then be just finishing strong, getting through the holidays in a whole different way than you ever have before and setting yourself up for getting really clear on your goals and most likely making progress towards some of that even before the new year.
Like how amazing. And when you come on the calls, that's the only ways you can find out the exact ways and what openings I have to work with me now. And there are going to be some end of the year specials that are offered when you come to this call and we can meet. Plus the only thing that you [00:03:00] will have to, I guess, give up or lose or pay with is your time.
Even if all we do is have this one back to balance strategy call, and we talk a little bit about where you are in your life and where you want to go and I offer my help to see how we can, we can close that gap then you will benefit greatly from like an hour of your time. So definitely check out and book a call with me and let's make the rest of 2024 and the beginning of 2025 your most calm your most where you feel most in control of your life and most confidence Not to mention more peace more joy and more balance.
So for today we are going to dive in on this episode talking about definitely something that happens that gives us a little indication that we're out of balance, right? When we let our emotions just [00:04:00] get the best of us and more importantly, my help in what to do when that happens. Cause this happens to all of us.
This happens to the best of us. Okay. We do get to points in our lives when our emotions just take over and we do not show up like we want to be. And in a lot of cases, that is we can name that in being when we're like acting out, yelling, to maybe being mean, being unkind just sort of coming to this place of can't take it anymore, just explode.
And that's what I want to help you address. That's what I want to help you have more peace of mind about when you find yourself letting your emotions get the best of you. So where I have to start and feel compelled to start is for us to actually talk about what I think are I've written down one of those top [00:05:00] 10 kind of emotions that us moms associate that when we are feeling them and acting from them, that we are letting them know our emotions get the best of us.
So here are the top 10 feelings that I often most associate when we are not showing up as our best moms. Okay. So the first one is anger. The next one is frustration, anxiety, sadness irritation, jealousy, fear, guilt, shame, and embarrassment. Kind of group these into where I think we then really go into that self kind of deprecating place.
And each of these emotions, first of all, except for, let me look through the list that I have down, except for guilt, and I think I'm going to talk about that in a later episode, except for guilt, all the rest of them [00:06:00] are really emotions that are just part of our human experience. And that actually can have a positive outcome. We can learn from them.
Now guilt. And again, I will talk about this later in a podcast and I've talked about it before. That's actually the one that doesn't really have an upside for us. But when we let our emotions get the best of us, it's usually coming from one of these. Because when we feel angry, it leads to what we call impulsive reactions or impulsive words.
When we're feeling frustrated. Frustration results in us feeling overwhelmed or what we would call losing our patience. When we're feeling anxiety, this causes us to have panic or excessive worry. When we're feeling sadness, this leads us to withdraw or have emotional breakdowns. When we're feeling irritated by all that's going on in our lives, this [00:07:00] usually results in a snapping at others or losing our composure, AKA maybe yelling.
When we're feeling jealousy, this leads us to resentment and negative comparison of others. When we're feeling fear, this causes us to avoid things. Or we make really like irrational decisions. We're not making confident decisions. When we're feeling guilt, this might result us in feeling stuck, right?
We'll be in that spinning wheel of guilt of that I shouldn't have, or this was really bad. Maybe it results in us like over apologizing and then shame. Shame leads to withdrawal in our life and it leads us to this self blame that I'm going to talk about here in a minute. And I put embarrassment on this list because embarrassment is one of those vibrations in our body that, that [00:08:00] just feels so terrible that this definitely causes us this so much discomfort. And so then we act out in, in defensiveness.
So these are the emotions that I wanted to name and bring to your attention today that are often like cited and, and put together with when we feel like we've lost control or that we've reacted in ways that we are later regretting. And I'm just naming here as these are the emotions that just get the best of us.
And so I want to offer you how, you know, showing you like some steps of what to do. When you find yourself having acted out, reacted, or feeling regret about what you did when you were feeling angry, frustrated, anxiety, sadness, irritated, jealous, fearful, guilty, feeling shame, or even feeling embarrassment.
So the first one, which hopefully [00:09:00] I've helped you get some clarity over, the first thing is to actually name the emotion. So once you are on the other side of acting out on from these emotions, the best thing we can do next is to evaluate, like stop, pause and evaluate like, okay, what just happened here?
And when you ask that question, what I'm asking you to go look for is what particular feeling was underneath. What was driving those actions? So it is probably going to be something similar or one of one of these 10 emotions. Again, anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, irritation, jealousy, fear, guilt, shame, and embarrassment.
I want you to go finding which one it is. Maybe it's a little bit of a couple, right? Maybe you're feeling irritated and then you would say you [00:10:00] would feel frustrated too. But, It doesn't like, just get close and pick one, name one. And from there you just want to get a little curious and evaluate.
Okay. Interesting. I was feeling anxious. Okay. What was I thinking that was creating this? anxious feeling, vibration, emotion in my body. And if you can just stop and evaluate those two things, what is at the cause of it? What was I thinking that created this jealousy? What am I fearful of right now? Right?
What am I ashamed of doing? Then you can actually pinpoint what those thoughts are that created that feeling, or you can at least just evaluate by naming that feeling. This is where you get power over it and you can get some semblance of, Oh, that's [00:11:00] why I withdrew. That's why I'm beating myself up.
That's why I'm avoiding doing that hard thing. That's why I'm panicking right now. I'm not panicking because of X, Y, and Z. I'm actually panicking because what I'm choosing to think about those things, right? Because my brain is focused on worry about this certain thing that's taken place. That's why I'm feeling, that's why I acted out this way.
This is this whole evaluation process that doesn't have to take a long time, but it's necessary to help you move through these emotions to help you get to the other side so that you don't stay locked in this kind of regret and beat up yourself pattern. Because we are all like, we're going to be feeling these emotions, but how long we [00:12:00] stay in feeling these emotions is totally up to us.
And if you want to know what to do after your emotions get the best of you, the first thing is, is we've got to actually evaluate what emotion we acted from. So that's the very first key part that I want to offer you. The second thing that I want you to do is I want you to step into becoming your own best friend.
In that moment, maybe you don't have your best friend around, or maybe you do want to take a chance to call up your best friend. But if you don't, I want you to become your own best friend. I want you to have a conversation with yourself about your emotions and what. just took place. And I want you to start talking to yourself as if your best friend was telling you some things.
So how that would really look like is your best friend would say, it's all right. It would say [00:13:00] this happens to the best of us. Your best friend would say, you're an amazing person. We just have some hiccups sometimes. Or your best friend would say, tell me more about what's going on. Tell me more about why you think this is happening.
Your best friend would be loving, your best friend would be helping you get to the bottom of it. Your best friend would be giving you compassion and they would say that they understand. And I want to invite you that when your emotions get the best of you, that one of the most loving things you can do is to become your own best friend and start talking to yourself like you imagine what your best friend would be telling you in that moment
And then the last thing that I want to offer you that is an excellent to do item when you find yourself having you know, kind of some negative emotions that had you acting out [00:14:00] maybe yelling, you know, yelling is usually the most most similar thing that I hear what my mom say is that I am yelling too much and I want to yell less.
The next thing that I want you to know that you want that you can do is I want you to redirect your mind to this one thought, this one belief even if you don't fully 100 percent believe it right now, that's okay. I would love for you to get into the practice of thinking it, the practice of saying it to yourself, the practice of believing it.
And it takes you on purpose going to this particular thought. And that is there I go being human again. Okay. Because when we yell, when we act out, when we have emotional breakdowns, when we lose our composure, when we find ourselves like negatively comparing ourselves, when we make irrational decisions, when we're feeling stuck, this is very much actions that come from somebody who is human [00:15:00] and has a human brain.
We are not perfect. That is going to happen when we are in heaven. Right now we are navigating back and forth through the positive and negative experience that makes up this earthly experience. So simply because you're a human means that sometimes you are going to act out in these ways.
As soon as you can come back to this thought after you have let your emotions get the best of you and you can remind yourself, there I go, I was just being human again. This is what I have found gives me the most peace and semblance of control where I can like relax into it instead of like resisting and, and fighting with what maybe just went down or how I just acted.
I really come back to my humanness and the real truth that is the truth for all of us is that as human beings, we are all amazing [00:16:00] because we are children of God. We were created by God and in that way we are amazing. And at the same time, we are all human. A mess.
We're just a little bit of a mess. So there I go being human again, shows us and reminds us, Oh yeah, like don't forget I am amazing. I am here. I do exist. And at the same time, because I'm a human, because I exist, that means I'm automatically going to be a mess sometimes. And sometimes we relate that right with letting our emotions get the best of us is us just calling on that messy side of us as humans.
Okay, mamas. So what I really, the message I really wanted to portray to you today is that we will have our emotions get the best of us. Sometimes we will make irrational decisions. We will lose our patience. We will react impulsively. We'll get defensive. We will self blame ourselves. [00:17:00] But when we find ourselves in anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, irritation, jealousy, fear, guilt, shame, or embarrassment, what you can do next is these three things.
You can name the emotion and evaluate what, what thoughts were creating that emotion and what actions come from it so that you can learn from it for next time. The second thing is you want to be your own best friend. You want to talk to yourself in the ways that if you were sitting there having a conversation, it's what your best friend would tell you.
It would be loving, loving and compassionate. It would be understanding. And then third, I want you to redirect your brain to this thought and belief there I go being human again. That I don't want to forget that I'm both amazing and a mess sometimes, and this will help you be able to navigate with a lot more peace and control and confidence moving [00:18:00] forward whenever you let your emotions get the best of you.
Okay, Mama. That's your message for this week. Let me know if there's any way I can help you with your mental or emotional life. This is what coaching directly hits and it makes all the difference in helping you live the life that you want to. And I would be honored to help coach you in this subject and any other of those life struggles subjects you might be struggling with. But as always, I'm so grateful that you're a listener and that you're here. And I hope that you'll come back again next week. And until then, mamas, I wish peace to be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast..
If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes [00:19:00] packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help.
Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. Whether you need one on one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like minded women or a self study course, I've got you covered. Explore my private one on one packages, join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course, Divine Time to find out which path is right for you.
Let's meet and see what's the best fit schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy [00:20:00] of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method:How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom.
Dive into the digital and bonus audio version. When you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new- book, you'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you.
