[00:00:00] You are listening to Episode 269 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, This is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach and Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Well, hello, hello, beautiful mamas. Happy spring. Well, at least when this, maybe when you're listening to it as it's coming out, it's springtime in our neck of the woods. And I'm just so glad you're here. I'm going to start out as a, with a reminder at the beginning of this podcast. If many of you might not know, I don't know if you've just found me on the podcast and that's all you do is listen, but I just want to take a moment to share with those who might not know [00:01:00] all the offerings that I have in addition to this resource that will bring you more peace more joy and more balance to your motherhood, no matter what stage of motherhood you're in.
And that first and foremost, it is working with me personally. I meet with clients one on one in a private setting. And then I also have a group life coaching program where there are other mamas in there.
But the way that it is set up is that you do get individually, you know, individual coaching help from me. You just also get the added benefit of watching me coach other moms and either one is amazing, is life transforming, life changing, but they're just like a different type of format. And when we [00:02:00] meet, I'm happy to explain both or to see if one of those ways are a fit.
But in addition It is so unbelievably amazing. I just want to give all glory to God that five plus years into this life coaching just wonderful experience life coaching. Of, you know, getting life coach, getting life coaching on my life, watching my life transform, experiencing it myself, deciding that this is a career I wanted to step into and then just thinking all that has been created and produced in what I think is a short amount of time.
Again, I just, I cannot take the credit for it, though I feel like it is definitely Holy Spirit inspired. It is through the grace of God that I'm able to offer these to you all. But I have now four books. I have [00:03:00] authored four books. So the Cyclone Mom Method is my signature book.
It is the main process I use with my clients. And so it is chock full. It will give you the foundation, the base, the understanding of what it truly takes to make the changes in your life that you're seeking. And then you also get to know a little bit about me in that book. I have also taken the fifth step of the cyclone mom method, which is to take control of your time.
And I have pulled that out and I have created a book that just focuses on time management and it is a faith based approach and it's called The Divine Time Solution. And then I have the Peaceful Mind Bible for busy moms and you who are listening to this podcast right now, it is, it's the Peaceful Mind podcast and the book is the Peaceful Mind Bible and what I did is I, I took the first 100 episodes of this podcast, and [00:04:00] I distilled it down into bite size daily chapters for you to be able to, to call upon in this book. To me, it feels like, it feels like a resource. It feels like a book that you want to have in your bedside table, in the glove compartment of your car, you, for any little small injection of peace.
And then my fourth most recent book is it's called Happy, Healthy, and Holy, and it is a 365 day daily devotional for you moms, where you will have a, it is also based on this podcast, right? And this is like the second hundred, I use the second 100 podcasts as the the context for this daily devotional, and that is just, again, it takes like, a minute or two each day, but helps you connect and there is a reflection, there is scripture, there's a prayer, there's a positive thought of the day.
And I [00:05:00] love that book. So those are the four books. And then with the last one that I mentioned, Happy, Healthy, and Holy, as of now, as I'm recording this podcast. It is also a podcast available to you. So if you want a second podcast by me, that really is again, it's the book just in an audio version of the Happy, Healthy, and Holy.
And you can find that on Amazon and Spotify. If you just You know, put in happy, healthy and holy daily devotional and it should show up for you. I'm actually just want you to know that I am in experiment mode with that right now. So I have recorded January, February, March. And in this particular podcast, you're listening to right now comes out in April and we are in the year 2025.
So. Again, that one, I'm not positive if, you know, I'm kind of looking at the analytics, seeing if people are finding it, and again, it's in book form, and so not positive if that is going to be [00:06:00] something that you'll find, but as of now, it, you could find it's a daily, every day for the whole year.
Okay, so, I, I just want to remind you. And then there are other resources that I have created. I've created courses. There's a time management course. There is a if you want to have a better relationship with money I have one called Faith-Focused Finances. I've I'm currently created one for physical health called 10% Healthier and I'm running a live group right now.
And that one I believe will be available as a self study course at some point, so check into that. But just know that I have created many resources that will support you. And they are there are the price point ranges as well. And so I know you will find something in there that will be able to support you and where you are in your motherhood right now.
And mostly you have can find those on my [00:07:00] website and this, the podcast will always in the show notes have links to what I've, I've talked about and guide you to where you can find them. And at the very least, please reach out to me through email, right? [email protected] will get you there and just check that spelling of my name, which is here on the podcast so it can get to me.
Okay. Now that I've done that reminder, I want to talk about today. I want to talk about the 13 things you want to give up. You want to give up on these things so that you will have a more peaceful life. Where these 13 things came from is not totally like spontaneously out of my head. I recently, usually as I do in the spring, have been cleaning out, have been decluttering, have been going through those nooks and crannies in my home that, you know, usually stay like shut behind, in the [00:08:00] drawer, behind doors.
And when I was going through a filing cabinet, I had this folder that had a lot of things that at some point I thought were amazing and important and everything enough that I either printed them out or cut them out and. I haven't looked at them in a long time. And when I pulled and sorted this one out, I said, I think this is beautiful knowledge that I want to share with my mamas.
But here's the thing. I cannot give credit to the original author. It has been so long that I can't remember. I don't know where I got it. I don't know what the original source is. And on every single page that was printed out, there is, it gives no indication. I've got no page number. I've got no name.
So if in the, that like minuscule chance, somebody who's listening, who understands and said, Hey, this was me, or I know where [00:09:00] that was, then please let me know and I can come back and correct the recording and give credit where it is due to the writer and the author. I, with that said that I don't know, I do feel like that this, whoever was the original author, their intent is like mine here they just want to be helpful. They just want to serve. And so I hope that this serves you as well.
So let's get into it. Here are the 13 things to give up on so that you can have a more peaceful life. Right. Number one, give up on an unhealthy lifestyle. We want you to take care of your body because it is the only place you have to live.
Okay? So if you want to achieve anything in life, this is a beautiful foundation, a beautiful place to start. So first, you Should take care of your health and this won't feel like rocket science, right? That I'm telling you or, or that you know, it's not like you haven't heard this [00:10:00] before to give up on a hunt, unhealthy lifestyle.
It will have you focusing and committing more on these three things. Quality sleep. A healthy diet and physical activity. And just like I'm running in my group right now, the 10% Healthier Group. I, I totally want to underscore this point, that small steps matter to building a healthy lifestyle and you will thank yourself one day when you put a focus on giving up on an unhealthy lifestyle So hopefully you'll you can think of something right now and you can begin to take a small step forward.
Number two give up the short term mindset. We only live once But if we do it right, once will be enough. Now that I do know that quote is from Mae West. So successful people, they set long term goals, [00:11:00] right? They think about their future self is how I call it in my coaching community. And they don't focus on merely that instant gratification, the result of that short term habits, right?
They see it as the long run. So if you look at a habit that you would need to do every day and do it consistency, consistently so that you are taking care of your future self, this would be that long term mindset. So giving up a short term mindset will play in to you having a more peaceful life.
Okay. Number three. Give up on playing small. If you never try to take great opportunities or allow your dreams to become realities. If you let fear hold you back, if you doubt and question your abilities, you will then never [00:12:00] unleash your true potential. And I am so here to help you become the person God created you to be.
Now, I don't mean stop playing small and become famous, become, you know, do something, you know, life altering, earth enhancing kind of thing. That's not what I mean. I want you to know that you have a voice, your ideas matter, your dreams, the, your plans in your heart. So don't be afraid to try and fail and go for it.
Just don't be afraid to succeed because the world needs what you are hoping or thinking would be fun for you to go after. Right, and here's a quote from Marianne Williamson about this, about giving up on playing small. She says, "Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel [00:13:00] insecure around you." We are all meant to shine. As children do, it is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Oh boy, I love that so much. The way that I kind of put this into words when I'm helping clients is literally like you become the example, right?
If you tell your friend that you reached out and asked for help or that you have a life coach or something, just in you being the example. Right? Gives that mom permission to be like, Oh, maybe I'm worth that kind of mental emotional care too. And they would have never known it if you wouldn't have revealed it and gone after what it is that you wanted as well.
Okay. [00:14:00] Number four, let's begin to give up on excuses, right? It isn't how you play the cards that you're dealt. It's how you play the whole hand. That is a quote from Randy Posh. His book was called The Last Lecture. And what this step is telling us. The step of giving up on our excuses, is that peaceful people with peaceful life, they know that they are responsible for their own life. That no matter where they started, what their weaknesses are, what their past failures are, realizing that we're the ones responsible for what happens next or what our reactions are to our circumstances.
That that yes, the future is both exciting. It's both frightening. But we do have a a certain way to plan and make decisions and take control of that part. We're not at the effect of life, right? And when you give up excuses, that becomes the way that you get to that peaceful [00:15:00] life. Because what excuses do is it they limit And prevent you from growing, from growing personally, from growing professionally.
And what I teach here is about like those excuses are coming from a place in our brain that is called the lower brain. And it's job is meant to keep us safe and meant to keep us small. So in order to do some of the things I'm asking you to do, to give up on playing small, to give up your excuses, it will take you overriding talking back to this part of your lower brain and saying, when it offers you an excuse that we say, no, no, I'm not because that's not the way. That's not the way to the peaceful life that I want.
All right, number five, I want you to give up on the fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset think that their intelligence or their talents are predetermined traits and they can't be changed.
They also believe that talent [00:16:00] alone leads to success without hard work, but they're mistaken because people with a peaceful life know this: they know that investing an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, to acquire new knowledge, learn new skills, and change their perception, that that, those ways benefit your life.
And really, as I say this, I'm like, this is what I'm doing every time I have a conversation with someone. I'm helping them. There's a knowledge I have to transfer, right, that, and there's particular skills that a mom needs to build if she wants to have long lasting joy, balance, and peace. And I help you change your perspective, right?
You coming from a different angle, looking at things differently. And this is what a growth mindset does. And so I would like you to give up on having a fixed mindset that really just kind of questions that you can't change. [00:17:00]
All right. Number six, give up on believing in a quote magic bullet. Overnight success. Is a myth. Successful people, people who continually have a really foundation of peace in their life, they know that making small, continuous improvements every day will compound over time and will definitely equal giving them your, the desired results that you want. And this, this is the whole reason why we plan for our future, right?
We want to go to that place in the future of what you want to have, but then how do we get there? We come back to the present moment and we ask ourselves, what will it take if I do this on a continual basis, be consistent and it adds up, right? And, and I believe. And that these 10 percent goals is what will add up.
But we could really [00:18:00] say if you're doing something each day, you could look at it as 1%, right? A hundred days in and you will have results and achievements. And this idea that we just handed over an easy and no, no pain or discomfort to get what we need. That is what I want you to give up on believing in that easy, no pain, magic bullet type mentality.
Okay, number seven. I am a total testimonial to this one and that is give up your perfectionism. I like this was me. I was so ingrained in things being perfect and right and like no one can see me fail and even like to the, to the degree of, I didn't want to go to bed until all of the house and everything was put away and everything was perfect.
You all, I can't stress this one enough [00:19:00] perfectionism. It is so beautiful on the other side, right? Because here's the truth. Nothing will ever be perfect no matter how much. You try. This earthly life experience, the definition is no perfection. That is what happens in heaven. And I love what I've heard this about perfect people who are perfectionists.
They're scared people, right? That was me scared of failure. Fear of failure prevents you from taking action. And it prevents you from creating things, from putting things out there, right? There are a lot of opportunities that are lost because we're waiting for things to line up, to be right, to have enough money, you name it.
And so that is something you want to give up on. In my coaching practice, there's a mom toolbox and one of the main tools to combat perfectionism is called B minus. If you want to live that way, if you want to undo [00:20:00] perfectionism, get in my coaching program. Okay.
All right. Number eight, give up on multitasking. Multitasking is an illusion. We think that in reality, we're like getting more done. But really what we're actually doing is that we are using up our time and energy by switching from one task to another, and people who have peaceful lives, they know this. The tool that I counteract this with multitasking is called constraint.
When you put your time and your energy and focus into one thing and see it through until it's done, then you free up the space in your mind and your emotions and your physical well being and then you pick up the next thing and you do that and this is more efficient so no matter what it is. A workout, conversation you're having what it takes to follow through [00:21:00] on a business idea.
Being fully present and committed to one task is really, it's really just indispensable. Okay. Number nine, this is going to be a , longer podcast episode this week. We're getting there though. Give up your need to control everything. This is number nine, right? Some things are up to us, and I want to offer that what those three things that are up to us to control are our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions.
And our actions are what we do and what we don't do. But some things are not up to us. And it's mostly what I want to drive home is that what other people think, say, do feel, create, is not up to us, not in our control. So you seeing the difference, knowing the difference, that is crucial to your peace. So I'm asking you in this step to [00:22:00] detach from the things that you can't control.
Focus on the ones you can, hint, hint, you. This is why, this is how I change families and change lives is because I focus on the mom. Mom, take your eyes on what you wish were happening with your kids and your spouse and you know, your friends and your mother in law and everything and we put it on ourselves and we learn the tools and the strategies ourselves and we focus on what we can control over and that is, that is how you are become that example and that influence on others.
We want to just know that the only thing you're able to control, the one of the main things I want you to know is your attitude. Your attitude towards something is everything. What you make, make it all mean. It's everything. That is actually your, the God given ability that he's given all of us humans is to choose and determine what attitude we have about everything.
Okay. Number 10, we're getting there. Number 10 of things I want you [00:23:00] to give up on so, you can have a peaceful life is to give up on saying yes to things that do not support your goals. First of all, determining what your goals are is crucial, right? For you knowing what your personal mom mission is at this stage of motherhood, what really matters to your family, what really, because you have limited amount of time and energy, what have you chosen right now is your current goals for your life.
Knowing that in order to accomplish them, you will have to say no. You'll have to say no to certain tasks, certain activities, certain requests, or certain demands from other friends, family, colleagues. We have to settle. At different times in our life, we are settling for what we're going to choose that that is really what matters to us right now, and that will require us saying no.
So we want to give up on saying yes, things that might you know, in [00:24:00] the short term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification. But we've said that in an early one, that's okay, right? It's a long term kind of view we want. And when your goals you know, when your goals come to fruition, it'll all be worth it, right?
Maybe any uncomfortableness it would be for you to say no. Okay. So I want you to give up on saying yes to things that don't support your goals.
Number 11, let's give up toxic people. This goes along with, like, we can't control everybody, and there are many different versions of us humans here on Earth, and we're not gonna like everybody, and not everybody's gonna have our own values, and they're not gonna show up in the world like the way we would, and so it is in, it is in your capability to stay away from negative people, right?
The people you spend the most time with. I was just I can't recall the book to write. But, you know, about, you know, the top five people you're around the most. Those are your major influences, [00:25:00] right? They are actually the people you spend the most time with. They add up to who you become, right? Other other human beings are the most influential around us.
So if you spend time with people who refuse to take responsibility for their life, they always find excuses, they blame others for the situation that they're in, your average will go down. And with it will go down the opportunity for you to have peace, for you to have success. But look at on the other hand, if you spend time with people who are trying to increase their standard of, of life and grow personally and professionally, your average will go up.
And you will become more successful. This is what this that's the part that kind of explains my group life coaching program, right? Or even if you're just a private client, you're spending that time with me. And my whole focus is for you to learn from my mistakes, learn from my body of knowledge. [00:26:00] And I do nothing but help want to uplift every part of your life.
And when I in my group program, what I my coaching program. My notion is that everybody is here. Wanting to better themselves, wanting to be the best mom that they can be. And so just think about who you spend most of your time with and give up on the toxic ones.
Okay, number 12, give up on your need to be liked. Oh, goodness. So good. This is a. I don't know who the who said this, but I'm going to say this quote, you can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, and there's still going to be people who hate peaches, right? Oh, my goodness, right? There are some things that you will, you will try so hard if you're somebody who wants everyone to like you.
And it's just a, it's a dead end, right? There is always going to be a lot of people who like you. How [00:27:00] you are, how you operate or what you think and believe and things like that, but there will also always be individuals who you aren't their cup of tea and vice versa, right? You can already think about that in your in your life right now, right?
There's some things like no matter what you do, you won't be able to make somebody else like you. And I want you to see that is completely natural. How many billions of us in the world were not like, yeah. meant to all see eye to eye, right? So there's no need to justify yourself. And the only thing you can do is to remain authentic, improve, provide value every day and focus on you and your remarkable life.
Okay, here we are. We made it to the last one. Number 13 on what to give up on in order to have a more peaceful life is give up wasting time. Cause this is where everybody gets tripped up. We think we have time. I don't want to be like morbid here, but sometimes we need to be [00:28:00] reminded, right? That we only have this one crazy and precious and challenging and beautiful life.
And that's why you owe it to yourself to see who you can become and how far you can go and to enjoy life. The journey. However, to do that, you need to ditch meaningless time wasters and stop allowing them to be an escape from what your most important goals are. And I don't mean all together. It is very human of us, right?
To scroll sometimes, to get lost in several episodes and of television and to just like be and not have a schedule and things like that. Like I get it. I wouldn't actually choose to define that as wasting time, but I do know a lot of you mamas out there. There are a lot of things that you do look at. And you tell yourself that you're wasting time.
So [00:29:00] it's just, it's a refocus again. This was talking about my, my time management book is all about taking back control over your time, over where your focus, your attention is, where your actions are and where you figuring out what it is that will make the most of your 24 hours a day. And that's going to look different from a lot of people.
Okay. We, we have to remind ourselves here and there that we all are end up with the same fate. We don't know when, and we want to just see every day as a gift. We want to be able to think about how we're spending our time on this life and feel good about that. And we want to enrich ourselves, right?
And that is what I wanted to say about that particular subject, which wraps up number 13. Okay. So I am just going to end today's podcast with just recapping and just naming each of the things to [00:30:00] give up on. Okay. As a reminder, because this episode was long, right? Okay. Okay. Number one. Give up on the unhealthy lifestyle.
Number two, give up on the short term mindset. Number three, give up on playing small. Number four, give up your excuses. Number five, give up the fixed mindset. Number six, give up believing in a magic bullet. Number seven, give up your perfectionism. Number eight, give up multitasking. Number nine, give up your need to control everything.
Number 10, give up on saying yes to things that don't support your goals. Number 11, give up the toxic people. Number 12, give up your need to be like, and number 13, give up wasting. [00:31:00] Again, these exact 13 things, I do not have the original source. I found this in a folder of mine that I put together. Hadn't seen it in years.
So. Give me the grace that I felt that this work being transferred here on the podcast to you all would be beneficial to you and the world. Okay, everyone. So I'm going to wrap up this kind of long podcast for, for one of the episodes I do to say that I wish you peace. Always. I'll see you next week.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools. to create peace of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith like me, or any Christian mom [00:32:00] seeking to feel better in any area of your life, and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help. Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study course I've got you covered.
Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time to find out which path is right for you. Let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com. Or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching.
And also, don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call On Your God-Given Power To Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. [00:33:00] Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.ccom/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too.
Until next time, peace be with you always.
