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You are listening to Episode 263 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, This is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach and Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
And we're back for another episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. Wow, 263 episodes. I love it. So much good stuff and so much more good stuff to come. Today we're going to [00:01:00] talk about a peaceful way for you to get rid of your bad habits. Who doesn't want this? Right? I mean, oftentimes here I'm really promoting change and results and your goals, but then we also want to be like, okay, well there's some stuff that I want to stop doing.
I want to get rid of. I've developed, don't want to have these habits anymore. And so that's how we're going to frame it today. The approach that I am going to call the steps that are going to help you have a more peaceful way of getting rid of bad habits is called positive quitting you see what I did there.
I'm putting a positive spin on looking at our bad habits Instead of just quitting which most of us have a negative connotation with that word with that activity I want you to see it as a positive one. So I've named it a positive quitting. This is that fresh approach. I want to give you [00:02:00] to get rid of some of those bad habits.
So I just want you to think about some of the bad habits that you have in your life today. Just take a moment because sometimes I can provide some examples, but I don't want you to think that that's it. The only examples, right? And so that's why I'm asking you to think about some bad habits first.
And so as you hear what I have to say about bad habits. Ways to have you stop those habits. I want you to think of yours, the one that you've chosen, right? Something that is maybe been plaguing you for a little while, okay? So I'm gonna share with you what I think might completely change how you think about making the changes to stop your bad habits.
Again, I'm calling it positive quitting and it's not what you might expect. So you know how often there, I've maybe spoken about [00:03:00] on previous episodes about what I call the all or nothing mindset. It's like we decide we've got all this list of bad habits and we're going to just transform it all at once and we're just going to overhaul everything and I need to stop all of these bad habits right now.
But then what happens is we slip up. We feel like we, we maybe we get a little start, a little runway, but then we stop. And we fail. And I always want to say fail in that way that how we usually say when we try to go after something and we stop once, that's a complete failure. That's usually what the mind does.
Well, I've discovered that there's actually a psychological law per se about quitting, about when you do stop. And that turns this idea on its [00:04:00] head, that quitting is a bad thing. I want to open you up to the more you practice quitting successfully, positively, even in the small ways, the better you'll become at it.
And that is what you want to be that internal shift like, Oh, I'm getting better at quitting my bad habits. by starting small and letting that build. So let me explain how this works a little bit more. So instead, like I said, instead of trying to overhaul your entire life at once, you're going to start with one small bad habit and shift your action of it and create a small win.
Even if you stop that habit One time. Okay. So maybe you want more peace in your mornings and rather [00:05:00] than attempting to completely revamp your whole morning routine, which, as a side note, I also have a focused podcast episode that helps you have more peace in your morning routine. So check that out.
You might want to start by quitting just the one part of the habit of your more of your bad habit in the morning. So maybe that's like checking your phone first thing when you wake up. So you quit that one action for one morning and you positively quit it. And then you seek to do it a second morning.
Then you put a focus on doing it a third time. With each success, this is how you build confidence. Before you know it, you've created a chain of wins that motivates you to keep going. And what makes this approach so powerful is that it works with our brains instead of against it. Because [00:06:00] every time you successfully quit something to get you decide to get rid of a bad habit even something tiny your brain registers it as a win.
And then this win is what makes you feel better about it and possibility about it And that's where that momentum just starts to grow. So here's what it might look like in real mom life Okay, let's say you want to quit losing your patience with your kids during bedtime routine I don't know why I'm so focused on this morning routine bedtime routine It's just something that came up in coaching a lot this week.
So you know that that's where I get my ideas from. So instead of expecting yourself to be perfectly calm every single night, you might want to start by choosing just one part of the routine where you will stay calm. I don't know what part that is. Maybe it's during teeth brushing, right? And once [00:07:00] you master that, once you recognize, Hey. I'm usually like, I don't know, maybe you're usually like rushing them along or come on or maybe they don't want to, or maybe they're throwing a fit about it, and then that kind of gets you all, you know, losing your patience. And so once you stay calm during that particular thing that you on purpose decided you were going to stay calm, once you master it, then you add another part to the routine.
Perhaps you want to quit mindless scrolling on your phone. It's a lot of what I hear that people wish that they would stop doing, and you want to start that by maybe quitting it during one specific time of day, maybe during breakfast. And once you quit it for breakfast, maybe then you want to add lunch, then you want to add dinner.
And maybe you just do mornings for a certain period of time, and you positively quit. it for breakfast. Once you have that, I can do it. [00:08:00] This is much better for me. I'm enjoying this. You add on then the lunch, maybe the dinner. So the beauty of positive quitting in my mind is that it builds upon itself, right?
Each small win success makes the next one easier. You start to develop what I call quitting momentum. Here's something fascinating. This momentum will spread to your other areas of your life. I bring up this point all the time when I'm meeting someone for the first time and they're interested in exploring coaching with me, what I get to tell them is when we pick one thing to get better at or concentrate or have goals around, the way that I approach it, the way that I help and the offer you and the strategies and the tools that you will use.
It actually will uplift all the other areas in your life, and that's how positive quitting will work as well, right? This peaceful way to get rid of your bad habits, it will build momentum. You just have to [00:09:00] pick one and it has to be small and you have to just make that change you know, a little bit more consistent and then you get to build that momentum builds.
But here's the key. And this is where many of us get tripped up. You, you actually have to notice and celebrate the small wins. You can't be like unconscious about it. You can't not put something into place to stop and pause and reflect and say, Hey, I chose not to do that thing today and I didn't do it.
So when you successfully quit checking your phone at breakfast for a whole week, that that is for sure worth celebrating, right? And We, we can't just push that off in like that was no big deal or that was only a week or it won't stick. When you make it through bedtime without losing your patience, that's a win.[00:10:00]
There needs to be a pause. There needs to be a celebration. You need to pat yourself on the back or something even greater. These celebrations, they're, they're not just like, Oh, nice things. Oh, feel good moments. They are actually rewiring your brain. And that is what we want to do, right? It's like we want to untangle the wires that have kind of, where our brain isn't, is wired in a way where it doesn't help us.
We are rewiring it to associate quitting with positive feelings instead of that deprivation feeling of failure. When, when my clients shift from trying to change everything all at once to this positive quitting approach. It is more peaceful for them. The journey is more peaceful. [00:11:00] Something remarkable always happens because not only do they start to see real lasting change, but the process actually becomes more enjoyable.
And that is the point, y'all. That is the point. We don't know what life holds for us in the future. We want to enjoy the now, and I know we would all enjoy it a little bit more with having less. of our bad habits. Now, I know what some of you might be thinking, but Danielle, I don't have time to take things slowly.
But then you might want to listen to the time management episode before this one, right? I get it. I get it that we default to that thinking as busy moms. We often feel pressured to change everything right now, but the truth is trying to change everything at once usually leads to changing nothing permanently.
Let me say that again. The truth really is, trying to change [00:12:00] everything at once usually leads to changing nothing permanently. And so those bad habits are still there. This positive quitting approach that I'm offering you today, it might seem slower at first. It's like building a house, though. You need a strong foundation before you can add the walls and the roof.
So each small quit becomes part of your foundation for the bigger changes down the road. And if you're ready to try this approach, then here's what I suggest. Remember at the beginning of the episode when I had you kind of think of your bad habits? I want you to pick one small thing that you want to quit.
I want you to choose a specific time or situation for quitting it. Like, decide, right, get a little, get a specific, brains love specificity, right, [00:13:00] when and what. Number three is I want you to practice quitting, and that's kind of it, that's number three, I want you to, then you have to get into action, you actually have to, whatever you choose, we're just gonna, when the time comes that you decided, and when it is, when you usually do that habit, you're just gonna practice.
You're in that moment is when you want to be telling yourself, I'm going to positively quit this. I only have to quit this right now. I'm just doing it for the now in this moment. And then if I haven't underscored it enough, I'll underscore it again. Then you're going to celebrate each and every one of your little, the actions that you've taken as a success.
And then once that you kind of get the, the, the routine and the feeling of those first four steps, then you'll gradually expand to other times or other [00:14:00] situations with that bad habit. All right. And remember, nothing of this ever happens overnight. But it does happen. And in this case, for this episode, I want you to know it happens one positive quit at a time.
And as always, if you'd like support along of peacefully getting rid of any bad habits you might have, I'd love to help. Come talk to me, sign up for a call. Okay, everyone until next week, as always, I wish you peace. May peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools To create peace of mind in your busy [00:15:00] mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help.
Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course Divine Time to find out which path is right for you.
Let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, the Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call On Your [00:16:00] God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy mom.
Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
