[00:00:00] You are listening to Episode 260 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Welcome back, sweet mamas. I'm so glad you're here today because that in itself is telling me that you are amazing. Thinking that your peace of mind, or at least your curiosity about what I have to offer today is important to you. So way to go to your, your time and energy are precious, and I'm so glad you are taking an action that can be beneficial for you and your family.
So again, just so humbled and grateful that you're here and also. I'm really thrilled to be bringing [00:01:00] you what I hope you are thinking about long after you're listening to this podcast today. So recently at my church parish, it's actually something that has happened several years in a row, kind of like at least maybe the last four or five that I can remember is that we, our parish gives us a gift and at the holiday season time, and it tells us, you know, during one of the masses that we have a gift for you. It's a book. Go ahead and take it on your way out. And for the past few years, it's been the same author. The author is Matthew Kelly. And I read this book. I've highlighted lots of things about this book.
My husband read it. So amazing. And, of course, like most things, when I read a book, learn and read something. I'm always thinking of you all and I'm being like, they would really benefit from this too. So that's what I'm doing today in this episode. It's kind of it's one little section actually from this book that I highly recommend.
And [00:02:00] I'm going to read a little bit from it, but then I'm going to summarize the, the main things, which is those 10 reasons of why. Less is not only more, but it's also better. So the book by Matthew Kelly that I'm referring to is the Three Ordinary Voices of God. And if you're not familiar with Matthew Kelly, he's the founder of Dynamic Catholic.
He's written several wonderful books. I think it's a New York Best Times Bestseller, and I've enjoyed them over the years. He's also a speaker and again, just author of many books. So while reading this one, I came across a section that really spoke to me, and I just knew I wanted to share these insights with you, because you must know how often we find ourselves caught up in the culture that our society has of more, more, more, right?
Next. What's next? What else am I going after? More activities, [00:03:00] more commitments, more things are added to our to do lists. And I want to share with you these 10 powerful reasons that if of why I'm kind of going to bat, right? I'm here kind of pleading my case on choosing less and really offering to you and inviting you to open up to that it can actually give your life so much more, more peace, more joy, and yes, even more accomplishment.
But these things, if you write them down, if you keep coming back to them, I think it will always benefit you as a reminder and again, bring you closer to peace of mind. So the part of the book. When you get it, it starts on page 80, but I'm going to read a little section that's just on page 81 and 82, and this will pretty much explain the main theme and concept that I'm going after to share with you today.
[00:04:00] So this is where I'm going to start. It says, essentialism is about giving priority to what matters most and letting go of what's not. Of what matters least, it's about asking the question, what is essential for your health, happiness and wholeness, and it's about choosing the people and things that are essential for your health, happiness and wholeness.
Over the many trivial and superficial time and energy vampires that suck all the passion and purpose out of your life. Okay, I'm going to stop right there just to say how much I love that metaphor. Or. If that's what when you visualize, right, that there's all these trivial things in our life that take our time and energy and he's described it as a vampire, right?
Sucking all of the passion and purpose out of your life. I can totally relate to that. Can you? Okay, I am going back to [00:05:00] to carry on Matthew's words here. It goes on to say, maybe a little less is almost every area of your life, or maybe a little less in almost every area of your life is the secret to the rare fulfillment that we all yearn for, but so few of us find, but maybe a lot less is what is called for.
And the question is, will you live your life in the service of the trivial many or the vital few? Okay, I'm going to stop there again. I'm always helping or trying to help my, my clients, you listeners in all my work to realize that your time and energy is so, so precious. It's finite.
And that We can't do it all, and we're not even supposed to, right? There are so many things that we are going to say no to, [00:06:00] and that does mean we're saying yes to some things, and I want those things to be the things that are more that really, really matter to your life, to what stage of motherhood you're in, to what your mom mission is, instead of all of the trivial things, right, that our brain tells us are so important.
So I even love that he even words that the essentialism is prioritizing what matters most in your life with your particular circumstances, and we learn to let go of the rest of the trivial things. Okay. Again, I'm going to pick up where Matthew Kelly is writing in the book and it says, the vital few are what God created you to experience.
Perhaps you are already an essentialist. It's possible. But if you are constantly feeling overwhelmed, if you are always trying to do more with [00:07:00] less, if you believe that if you procrastinated less, you would be more efficient and you would be able to get everything done, you're not an essentialist. And though it does sound like it, You could then benefit considerably from becoming one and and that's actually what I'm going to stop reading now.
I'm going to talk myself on it. That's actually what the point of this episode is is to kind of put up a really good case for you to consider, am I an essentialist? Do I, do I want to become essentialist? And I'm building a case for these 10 reasons that I'm going to offer you of why I hope you will consider becoming more of an essentialist.
Again, the essentialist type of person focuses on what truly matters, what truly matters to spend your time and energy on where you are in life at your stage of motherhood. The non essentialist doesn't [00:08:00] focus on what truly matters. They think all of the things, doing all of the things is is important.
Okay, back to reading. You're still not sure? Okay, so we're going to take a closer look, right? The non essentialist rushes around. Trying to be all the things to all the people. So this is where I'm actually going. I'm actually going to stop reading this that little section. I was hoping would set you up for where I was like, Oh, this will be a really good message to be able to get out there to my listeners.
Where it sets the foundation of why less, right, that is the person who's after just the essentials, they want to focus on less, is going to be beneficial to your motherhood to help you have more peace, joy, and balance. And so now I'm going to read off the characteristics of somebody who is a person who is.
In the act of pursuing more [00:09:00] versus the person who is going after less, which is what I'm hoping that you'll focus in on and listen to both sides and kind of catch yourself to see which one you are. And then if you make note of one where you are like, yes, that is me, I'm being tossed around by trivial desires, the more, more, more that you can then maybe.
Like, you know, just gently pivot or not just gently strongly decide you're going to go after the, the side where you become a person who is pursuing less, which means you are setting aside trivial desires so that you can cherish your deepest desires. Okay, so here, let's start. If you're a person who's going after more, you rush around being all things to everyone.
As opposed to the essentialist, the person [00:10:00] going after less, where there is more of that peace and joy to be found, then you would be trying to be a great friend to just everyone. A few people, right? That that's like a different if you're someone rushing around, you're trying to be all things and do great for every single person in our sphere.
Yet, if you are a person who can really be a great friend to just a few people, this is one of the characteristics. of that person who is going after less, which will be so much more satisfying in your life. Next is just to recognize, are you someone, if you really relate to, yes, I think that I'm always looking to pursue more and more and more as opposed to someone who is really disciplined and focused on pursuing having.
And doing less in their life. The next thing to contemplate is are you never satisfied? A [00:11:00] non essentialist, someone who is not, who is his going after more and focused on trivial matters will never feel satisfied as opposed to. People going after less, you actually take time to explore what is going to deliver you contentment, like you would decide what would create me feeling content, what is it in my life that I am content about, how about it.
Are you someone who is always thinking, I have to, I have to do this, I have to get that done. I have to, I have to, I have to. What I want you to pivot towards is really think about the things that are going on in your life and know that you have a choice. So I want you to be really [00:12:00] deliberate about thinking, I choose to, right?
I'm choosing to X, Y, and Z. That is the mindset of a person who's going after less. Okay, next is constantly reacting to what's urgent. Is this you? Remember, the person who's going after more, the one who is focusing on what's urgent. All the things they are carrying around this like urgency in their body, this, this kind of vibration of rushing and movement, constantly reacting, thinking everything that's got to happen now, right?
As opposed to somebody who's pursuing lest. So [00:13:00] an essentialist. Would lean into the important things in life are almost never urgent. Right? How do you feel when you are like sitting on the couch? Maybe you have your child in your lap. Maybe you're on the floor playing a game. And you've made this just kind of like deliberate choice to be present for them.
It doesn't feel urgent, right? The focus is different. Those that Or after more think everything's important. I actually wrote about this in a time management blog that I first published. I still have it published and that whole difference into having this expansive amount of time is is sort of kind of like sucked away when you think every single thing is important.
In fact, your brain is wired to tell [00:14:00] you that, right? But the person in Who goes after less, which is better, you are thinking that only a few things really matter, you've prioritized in your mind, you have set your, your goal, your, your mission, you know, what is important to your family therefore makes it the, that it really matters to you, as opposed to all the things again, it's all important.
Is not what we want to be thinking. Okay. The next one have I, I should have numbered these right? Everyone I haven't numbered him. They're supposed to be 10. Let me just do that real quick. I'm going to say 1, 2, 6. Okay. We're on number 7, 7. Those who are at the pursuit of more, they say yes, without really thinking about it.
Again, it's kind of like in a reactionary thing. It is. It's just like, you're a yes person. [00:15:00] And you don't take the time to pause, to consider, to reflect, to evaluate, to come from a really strong decision making place of knowing, of deep knowing. You just react to say yes without thinking about it. But you want to become an essentialist, right?
Because that is where that, that peace and that joy that we're after is going to come from. And that is Going to require you to do the opposite of saying yes, without really thinking about it, which is saying no to all the things, except what you've decided is essential for you and your family and. Your mission and where you are in your stage of motherhood, and I know that I can sound like when I say that I've Repeat myself a lot.
I believe it's necessary It's for me to get the message for your brain to kind of like a simulate it, right? Say [00:16:00] no to everything except what is essential to you do an evaluation Don't be so reactionary to just jump in and say yes. Yes Okay, now we're on number eight right number eight Number eight, again, these are overwhelming people who are overwhelmed because they're always in the pursuit of more.
You take on too much and you don't do any of those things really well, right? You don't do them really well. As opposed to the person who does less, you actually deliver a level of excellence when you do that, when you're only focused on a few things. Again, are you someone who takes on too much and does none of it well?
And do you want to become or choose to be a person who does less and delivers? Excellent. Okay. [00:17:00] We're getting down to the bottom here. Number nine and number 10. So number nine, does your life feel out of control when your life feels out of control? As I describe in my process of the cyclone mom method as that swirl, does the swirl seem to be fast and frantic?
Let me remind you, the swirl is always there, but when life feels out of control, you, you can picture yourself in that swirl, just kind of like flailing all around, as opposed to the person who's going after less, which is better, the essentialist, you have a life that feels very measured and very manageable, and I could call this in control of it, on top of, That's sometime word resonates with people.
So as opposed to life feels out of control, essentialists and people who focus on less, their life feels measured [00:18:00] and manageable. The last one that I want to point out here in this kind of beautiful reminder and kind of curated topic that Matthew Kelly pointed out to me in this book that I, Was very compelled to share with you all because I know it would bring you more peace.
If you adjusted your life from essentialism or non essentialism to essentialism, and that is, you will, if you're going after more and focusing on the trivial, Things you will constantly feel overwhelmed and exhausted. And this, my friends, is what lights me up to say no, to say, I'm going to be part of the solution to all the moms out there who are just constantly overwhelmed and exhausted and not seeing an end to it and really kind of being discouraged by [00:19:00] it sort of our shattered dreams, right?
Of this joyous, kind of calm, loving, enjoyable motherhood. And then we find ourselves in this state of constant overwhelm and exhaustion. And I hope today is a good reminder that you, We'll remain here. If you are somebody who keeps focusing on more, more, more as opposed to the person who goes after less, like the mom who becomes the essentialist, the mom who focuses on the few things that really matter.
In your motherhood matter to you and your family today, you will then learn to enjoy the journey and I've, I've done an episode that I have that title. Enjoy the journal, enjoy the journey. So look that one up that kind of reiterates that really important mission. I have, [00:20:00] but this is what I want for you all.
I want you to You have peace and joy. I want you to feel peace. I want you to enjoy your journey. There's so many beautiful things that are happening in your motherhood today that we are missing. We are not seeing. We are not taking captive. We're not experiencing because We are so constantly feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Okay. So those are hopefully the, my 10 powerful reasons. And I'll just recap. Here's the reasons why I want you to become somebody who is in the pursuit of less, right? Who. It who's you set aside those trivial desires so that you will cherish your deepest desires. And that is someone who tries to be a great friend to a few people, right?
You are very [00:21:00] disciplined in your pursuit of less. You'll take time to explore what will deliver contentment to you. You will be somebody who on a regular basis thinks I choose to instead of I have to. Your focus will be on the few things that really matter to you. You won't feel urgent because you'll be focused on the important things in life, which are almost never urgent.
You'll start to say no to all the things, to everything, except what is essential to you and your family at the moment. And you will do less in your life, so that with the things you do put your time and energy, they will be delivered at a level of excellence. And I want your life to feel manageable. I want you to feel on top of it.
I want you to feel in control of it. And I want you to enjoy this journey of motherhood. And all these [00:22:00] things. Can be access to you in your life if you choose to live a more essential focus life and really go after that pursuit of less because it ultimately will bring that more to your life. So I want you to take a moment today and ask yourself where in your life might choosing less.
Actually give you more, whether that be in your schedule, your commitments. Start with just one area where you can experiment with this principle that I've offered today that I learned from the book that's titled The Three Ordinary Voices of God. And if you're feeling to call, explore this concept more deeply, and you want [00:23:00] support from me implementing these principles in your life, I would love to help you.
You just have to reach out to me for a free Back to Balance strategy call, you can always visit my website, daniellethienel.com. All in the show notes, we'll have links to both of these things. I'm also going to link or at least put the credits to this concept the reading from the book from Matthew Kelly.
In the show notes as well. So for everyone, my sweet mamas, I hope that choosing less for you, you can see is not about deprivation. It is about liberation. It's about making space for what truly matters in your life. All right, everyone, until next week, peace be with you. Always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind podcast.
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Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances. Whether you need one-on-one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like-minded women or a self-study course I've got you covered. Explore my private one-on-one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course Divine Time.
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Dive into the digital and bonus audio version. When you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too, until next time, peace be with you always.
