[00:00:00] You are listening to Episode 217 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Welcome back to the podcast, everyone. Before we get started on those ten lies that are robbing you of your peace, which I cannot wait to talk to you about so that you can start living more from the real truths [00:01:00] about you and truths that will give you peace. I thought I'd just give you a little update on where I am in life.
I know that I follow and listen to several podcasts and I have some, you know, mentors out there and it's always so fun. When they're like, this is what's been going on in my life right now. So here's just a little peek behind the curtain. And also keep in mind that when I record these podcasts, it's sometimes a month or a month and a half that they come out later.
So right now it is in the month of February. But I don't believe this comes out till April, so I know one of the differences will be that it will be definitely more spring like. So I hope when you're listening to this, wherever you are, you are starting to feel you know, just a little bit rejuvenated that the weather is about to turn for the better for you.
And then I'm also you know, totally aware that some of my clients live where it is like warm clients all the [00:02:00] time or climate all the time. But for me, just in where I live, it's actually been unseasonably warm and I have been loving it. I have been taking lots of walks with my husband and just in the middle of the day.
And that's also something about what's going on in my life. My husband has had a career change that has him being home right now, a lot of the time. So I love that that gives me an opportunity to change up kind of like the routines that have been going on. And I also love the idea of going on lots of day walks because I don't know if I mentioned this before or not, but I actually pulled my hamstring.
Yes, I pulled my hamstring a few days before my father's funeral mass. Last, at the beginning of this year, my dad passed away. And so that also lets you know that I am still in that whole [00:03:00] transition period in life for any of you else who knows what it's like to lose a parent. I am still processing and allowing the hard of it all, the grief the pain. And helping my mom navigate through this time as well.
And yeah, a couple of days before you know, back before his, his funeral, I pulled my hamstring. You know, we had really bad weather at the time and I know that when I told people that I pulled it, they were like, Oh no, did you slip on the ice or, and I was like, no, I literally was just. tidying up my closet for the evening. And I did you know, a twist. My physical therapist right now kind of showed me the action she can imagine that pulled it. But the fact that I'm in physical therapy and it is much better. And that I am out in nicer weather taking walks and just to let you know that my, you know, my home life or my husband and I are together more of the time [00:04:00] during the day than before.
It's kind of what has really been happening in my life. I also had one of my daughters do a surprise weekend home from college, which was super fun. I love seeing her She loves school And also she just I guess we have really given her a home that that she wants to come home to and so we just had a fun time Just spending a lot of time with her and that was super you know, in this winterish time to have that kind of that break and to reconnect with her again.
And and then I guess the other thing that's really, you know, kind of been a focus of my life is my my son who is going, is finishing up his junior year in high school. We are focusing on, on college for him. So we are, have some college tours lined up and have really started that process which has me, you know, fitting into that new identity that in a very short period of time, [00:05:00] I will find myself being an empty nester, but I also love that I have all of these coaching tools to draw on to see that this is an amazing stage of motherhood and there's tons that's really hard about it.
But I'm focusing on what is wonderful about it and getting really focused on creating this identity for myself for, you know, I've already stepped into that version of myself. That's a mom for older children. Right, but don't, don't be fooled, all of you who are not in my stage, you want to be able to know that I can mentally take myself right back to the, the overwhelming drowning type, chaotic you know, filled time when it was busy with kids schedule and littles and lots of carpooling and things like that.
And [00:06:00] plus all of my wonderful moms and, and clients that I work with on a daily basis, we talk about all of those and everybody's in a different stage of motherhood. And it is still something that we need to navigate and have constant, you know, reminders of how to get back to having that peace of mind that we all want so much.
And so that beautifully leads me in to the topic I want to talk to you about today, because there are lies right now that you are thinking and believing that are robbing you of this essential peace of mind.
And why do we want to have peace of mind? We want to have peace of mind because one, that is what God wants for us too. That is his will for all of us. And at the same time, you have to see, or I want you to see that you are a [00:07:00] much more effective mom when you are coming from that place of peace, and these lies are robbing you of that, that feeling. That isn't there a hundred percent of the time, but there, you're definitely going to have a major shift.
If you can take these lies that I'm going to unravel today and start operating from the actual truths. So I have about 10 of them, 10 lies that I want to just uncover and go through. And then I actually have a bonus, the one that I think is central to the having you feel like you are in control of your life instead of being at the effect of it.
Okay, so let's start with, let's start with why we would want to focus on [00:08:00] our worthiness and uncover the truth. And really just the bottom line of that is because these lies rob you of what your true identity is. And your life will change if you step in to the identity of truth.
The first lie I want to bring to your attention is the one where you tell yourself that your gifts and abilities are small or insignificant. So this lie is the illusion of insignificance where you think there is just nothing that I have to contribute. That it's not big enough. I want you to consider the mom who spends her evening like creating homemade costumes. This was not, I was not this mom, but I know that one of [00:09:00] you listening is. Maybe it's for your children's school play and you are doing this just thinking that this is just a drop in the ocean, right? This isn't, this is just a little something that you do That it comes easy for you and, you know, you want to be of some help. And they needed it. Yet in reality, what it is that you are actually fostering a world of creativity and joy for your children and their peers. And that in order to do such a thing, it does call for incredible talent. And your contributions, no matter how small they seem, do make a significant impact in your children and their friends and the school needing the help to put on this whole production in the first place, [00:10:00] this common lie that your gifts and abilities are small and insignificant. It diminishes your sense of value because the truth is. You have skills, you possess skills that know how, no matter how minor they seem, they contribute to this like, beautiful tapestry of your family's life and beyond your family. And your unique talents enrich the interactions that you have with your children and I want you to embrace them.
So let's let go of the lie today. That you don't have any gifts or abilities that are small that are, that matter. Let's let go. Let's let go of the lie that you only possess small or insignificant. Because you are talented. That is the truth.
Okay. The second lie. . Is that there's something [00:11:00] wrong with you and that others were made quote better. This is the lie of inferiority because I know many of you feel that there's something wrong with you and that like others have it together and they know how to do it right, but this couldn't be farther from the truth. You are uniquely crafted and your distinct personality, the strengths you have, and even your struggles that you go through, they create a one of a kind human, a one of a kind individual who is irreplaceable in this world. And your uniqueness is your superpower. We all have it. Every single one of us. Picture the moms scrolling through social media, seeing posts of other moms who seem to have it all together. Perfect homes, successful careers, happy families. Leading you to doubt [00:12:00] your worth. Remember, you were crafted by God. And your journey is not meant to mirror anyone else's. Your uniqueness is a strength and I want you to hold on to that truth. You are unique.
Okay, the third lie that robs you of your peace is when you believe that God's love isn't enough to free you from any kind of chains you find yourself in life. These like self imposed traps. It's a fallacy. The lie here is it's a fallacy that there's like limited love and that God's love isn't enough to break free for you to break free. So imagine the mom who's struggling with postpartum depression. Is that you? Did you have postpartum after [00:13:00] having one of your children? Do you feel isolated and you are believing that you're beyond help even from God, but the truth is divine love surrounds and supports you through every single trial that is being offered to you right now. But instead, I want you to, to switch to the truth that there's always a path to freedom and hope being offered. And we want to look at that by seeing where you are free. So again, just even remembering that helps you step away from the lie. That there isn't enough love to go around, okay?
Because divine love, it's boundless, it's super powerful, and you are capable of breaking any chains. And what, [00:14:00] what I know is one of the strongest chains that you have is what's going on inside that you've trapped yourself with your mind and your brain. This is what coaching addresses. It unlocks that change. when we unlocked the power of your mind. So I want you to lean into this truth that you are free, that you are not limited, and allow faith to like illuminate that path through your challenging times.
The fourth lie that people, especially I'm focusing on on moms and what happens in our daily lives. is that what you do every day isn't like big enough. It's not grandiose enough. Again, I'm coming back to the insignificant part, but from for this one, this lie, it's more [00:15:00] around that you aren't like filling out like your purpose. You're not purposeful when you just do the dishes and laundry and drive the kids to school and feed them and make the dinner and tidy up the house and Homeschool, educate your kids, right? Even as I say all that, I know some of you out there are thinking that this isn't purposeful enough. But there is such a deception there. It's easy to underestimate the value of those daily tasks and routines. But you're already purposeful. There is so much purpose within those daily tasks and routines. A bigger purpose. Each act of care you give as a mom, each moment you spend nurturing your family, is significant and shapes the world in ways you just won't immediately [00:16:00] see. But what you do every day is purposeful. is purposeful enough.
Think of a mom who spends her days managing the household, feeling that your efforts are unnoticed or unappreciated, not realizing the immense value that you're creating in this loving, stable home environment. You are already purposeful is the truth I want you to take away today. And I want you to know that your daily acts of love, And you setting up the foundation for your family's well being, which I want to underscore here always starts with you taking care of yourself. That foundation is what exponentially helps you set up your family's well being and that is such, such an important purpose.
Okay, lie number five that robs you of your peace. [00:17:00] is when you think you don't have what it takes to, and then like fill in the blank there. Really essentially the lie is like, I'm not smart enough to figure out how to, and then fill in x, y, and z. This is, this is like you doubt your self efficacy. You don't have what it takes. And so, any of your dreams, fill in that blank. And this lie, what it is, is paralyzing. It has you stopping in your tracks, not even going for it. Not even trying. But the truth is, you are smart, and you're more than capable. I'll address that one here in a second. And, and I know you moms are so resourceful. And we're resilient. Yes, we get up again, day after day after day, [00:18:00] and you can learn and grow and achieve anything that you set your mind to that you actually want to accomplish. You can do this.
And the example I want to give is, is what if you're like someone there who are dreaming of starting your own business? That was me. But then you have fear that you lack the knowledge or resources. I'm not, you don't recognize your own like capabilities to, to learn something new and adapt. Hello? I was like, technology? Ah! But I, I would tell myself the truth, which is I am smart and I'm capable of achieving my dreams, especially if I just do it one step at a time. What's the next best thing that will help me get a little bit closer? [00:19:00] How can I prove to myself today that I am? I'm intelligent and can figure it out. And so that, that lie that it wasn't me or I'm not smart enough to figure out how to do this business on my own, I was just open to the truth that maybe I just need to start and each day just figure out a little something. And then it all added up to being very smart about how to run a business.
Okay, the next lie I want to talk to, I think we're on number six, that I want to speak to, is the one that you say to yourself that you're not beautiful enough. This is that falsehood that we put ourselves up against societal's beauty standards. [00:20:00] And there is just a different way that we moms of faith want to look at this idea of beauty. And that is that we are made by God. And everything that he touches is beautifully and perfectly made. I know that there's moms who are listening to this who avoid mirrors. Maybe you avoid social gatherings. And you feel like you don't measure up to that societal beauty standard. And you're not focusing or looking at the beauty that's in your strength, in your kindness, in the love you give to others in your family. And there is a focus on this outside. But that changes when you can first [00:21:00] recognize the beauty on the inside.
And I know that society's standards lead us to a harmful beliefs, and this is something that does transform your life significantly if you put time and effort into unwinding those thought errors that you have about yourself and your beauty. Because I want you to know the truth that you're not only beautiful, but you are that child of God that's perfectly made. And that your beauty does transcend, transcend a physical appearance. I know your beauty shines through your actions, your love, and the strength that you're displaying every day with your family. And if that was your focus and less attention on the outside, you would actually see that you will start to see your outside in a different way. [00:22:00]
Okay. The next lie that I know is robbing of your peace. is when you are like, I'm so boring or my life is so blah right now. Others are so much more than me or they're living an exciting life. And the truth I want you to open up to today is that you are creative. We all are. I know we can look at some and say like, Oh, you know, whether it's something like, painted art or sculpture or musician or something like that. We're looking and thinking, Oh, they're just so creative. All of us are, that is the truth. And when we think that we're boring and our life is blah, it's literally because that is a fallacy that we've just taught ourselves. And it's the way that we're looking at what's going on in our life right now. [00:23:00] I've, addressed the whole compare and despair subject several podcasts ago, but this is what happens is we compare our life behind the scenes to somebody else's kind of like highlight reel that they, that they put out there.
And it fosters a really deep misconception inside of us. And that is that. We're not creative, but you are, that's the truth that I'm here to tell you today. You are creative and full of creative potential, but this is where you have to want to decide to be creative and to look for ways to be creative or to literally just take a guess at what could be something you could create or be creative about and get started.
Cause like I said before, your life story and you are unique and We can persevere to, to grow and [00:24:00] extend ourselves in different characteristics and being creative is one of them that you absolutely can become more of today, just by deciding that you want to be. There's a mom who feels like your life is just routine and that caretaking of the family and home is in comparison, you know, not great to the adventurous lives you will be looking for others, but you're overlooking any kind of possibility of being creative when you do that. Because I know that it takes creativity to be a mom. What it takes to raise a family. And so, let's let go of that lie today. You are creative. That is the truth.
Okay, number eight. I can't make the big dreams of my heart come true. Like, I'm incapable. It's [00:25:00] kind of like a theme here. Do you see it? It's all, these are all the fallacies and lies that we tell ourself that are around our self worth. What we're capable of. I know what we do, most of us do, is we look in our past and we gather evidence for what we can and cannot do. But I want you to envision being the mom who sets aside your own aspirations, believing they're unattainable, especially, you know, where you are with all the demands of motherhood. And so you're not even allowing yourself to explore or dream what you're capable of. And so we diminish ourselves. We somehow talk us out of of them saying that they're not valid or they're not achievable. I know I did. I did back and forth.
Especially, let me give [00:26:00] the example of like being an author and having a book. At the time, there was this idea and dream that that's what I, but I really believe that I just wasn't capable. That it came naturally and there are people who are like meant to be authors and good, but that wasn't me. Like I wasn't capable. And I'm so glad that I overcame that lie and saw and opened myself up to, but what if it was possible? Then I began to explore, what would I want to have that book be about? What do I think would be the first step that I could do to figure out how to get started and make that happen?
And it's through the process that you, of just taking one action after the other, you grow in your belief in your capabilities. And you just do that again and again and again and then in the, all of a sudden you find yourself where you have [00:27:00] created that thing that you once thought you weren't capable of doing.
And so we just a doubt, we doubt what we can achieve. And that lie can crush your spirit. So I want you to take away that the truth is that you are capable with determination, with planning. And of course, belief in yourself and all of these things is what we grow when you are coaching that even the loftiest dreams can be within your reach. And step by step, you can create the life that you envision. This is one of my favorite things that I help my clients do, which is dust off the brain that hasn't been focusing and actually stepping in to what it would look like and feel like if you were already there. Having achieved it, [00:28:00] and then we go making a plan to move towards it.
Okay, we're getting here almost to the end. We got a couple more. The ninth one, the lie that robs your peace, is I have so much to worry about. And this leads you to being, like, super insecure about your future, and about life, and about what's going to happen, and worry about what's happening. You know, the challenges you're going now. And this is an anxiety trap. I know that we believe that worry is like a natural part of life. And I have done several episodes on this subject to tell you that it's never going away fully. But we definitely can have less of it. And I know, especially for moms, it can be all consuming. But the truth is, you are secure.
You focus on the present [00:29:00] moment. We focus on what we can control. And then we put a trust in God. That he will provide the strength and support we need to face any challenge that comes our way. So if you are a mom who's lying awake at night, if you are fretting over finances, fretting over your health and your future, if you're allowing worry to overshadow the joy of your present moments, I want you to re, I want you to turn this lie on its head. That there is so much to worry about is robbing you of your peace. But the truth is you are secure and you are the one who creates the feeling of security in your life. And if you face each day with a presence, with a [00:30:00] gratitude, with a focus on the one who can take care of it all and is guiding it all, then you can transform your worry into peace.
Okay, lie number 10 is things will never change for me. This pains me that moms want help. They want the change that they desire. They are opened or somehow they find me in some form or fashion and they believe, Oh, I really think this may be what I need. And then they come and they still buy into this lie that that sounds like sometimes I think it sounds too good to be true or that yes, it worked for you, but I'm different than you and things will never change for me.
I know that we get trapped as moms in cycles like of monotony. And we are unable to envision a brighter [00:31:00] future. We don't recognize our own power to affect change. The change just seems so insurmountable. But the truth that I want you to open up today is that you are victorious. And that each new day is a fresh opportunity for growth and happiness.
And that we want to live in possibility and hope so that we can keep our eyes open to see. The miracles that are around us, the joy that's to be had. And so there's this kind of lie that we tell ourself that keeps us stagnant and stuck when we think to ourselves that things will never change for me.
It's this defeatist belief system that prevents you from seeing any opportunities for growth and happiness in your life. I didn't know growth and happiness was [00:32:00] available to me on the other side. of committing and learning the tools and strategies that life coaching offers. And until I started opening my eyes and looking for how things could change for me, did I only then open up myself to now being to say like, I am victorious.
I made the changes and every single day is a new chance for us to make changes, small changes. are just fine. And they do lead us to big transformations over time. So I told you at the kind of like at the beginning of the episode that I had 10 and these are the 10. And I want to just reiterate what those truths are.
I want you to [00:33:00] know today that the truths are, is that you are talented. You are unique. You are free. You are already purposeful. You are smart. You are perfectly made and beautiful. You are creative. You are capable. You are secure. And you are victorious. But I did mention that there's an 11th that I'm going to add here.
And this is one that it's just kind of a recurring theme that comes up again and again with moms. And this one I could just say is the biggest game changer for your life. If you can eradicate this lie. And this is the lie. I've got to just get these things done. [00:34:00] Then I'll be able to, and then fill in the blank, and I want to fill in the blank with, then I'll be able to relax.
Then I'll be able to take care of myself. Then I'll be able to go on that vacation or by myself that, that thing I want. This is a lie for all of you listening. When we believe once I do these things, once I'm check off these boxes, once I arrive at this point. Then I'll be able to have the experience that I want.
So this lie keeps us trapped in the idea that there will come a future time where now you've gotten enough things done. You've achieved enough results. You've made enough money. The house is [00:35:00] clean enough. You've raised the kids to a certain point. That's enough. That's enough. Whatever, whatever you add that you are delaying and you think, once I have enough of that, then you'll be able to relax and enjoy your life.
And I'm here to tell you that the truth is that day never comes. It is the journey and the process of attempting to reach those things that is where the joy is to be found, not a delay, because this is the truth. You can get an extraordinary amount of work done and enjoy your life in the process. And that my friends, my dear, dear moms, [00:36:00] if you can open yourself up to that, welcome that in and live from that place.
Every day, you will be able to create that balance and that joy and that calm that you want so badly. So let's dispel this lie that once we get to a certain place, then we'll be able to feel how we want. Instead, let's learn to feel that way on the way to achieving that goal, and know that you can be productive and get what you want to get done and enjoy it along the way.
Okay, everyone. I really thought this episode was going to be a short quick one, but now that I'm looking is a little bit longer than I thought, but [00:37:00] I hope that you found it to be helpful to you today. And if there is just one of those lies that I brought to your attention today, that resonated or are you on to yourself like, Oh my goodness, yes, I am telling myself that lie a lot. Can you flip it and open up to the truth that I offered you today about it and start building evidence towards that truth and watch how you show up different in your life or experience your life happier, healthier, holier, that would be amazing.
And if so, definitely reach out, let me know. And if there's someone you know who's struggling in their own belief systems and worthiness about themselves and that you feel like that they are telling themselves some of these lies that I revealed today, then please pass this on, let them know about the Peaceful Mind [00:38:00] Podcast and share it.
I'd be so grateful. And as always, I'm so grateful that you are a listener and part of my world. So until next week, peace be with you always.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools that To create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help.
Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances, whether you need one on one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like [00:39:00] minded women, Or a self study course, I've got you covered. Explore my private one on one packages, join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program, or delve into my signature course, Divine Time.
To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.Com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching and also, don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method: how to call on your God given power to remain calm and peaceful ,in control and confident as a busy mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time. Peace be with you always.[00:40:00]
