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Danielle Thienel: You are listening to Episode 213 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Tienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Hi everyone, welcome back to the podcast. This week's episode is a direct result of one of you listeners. Her name is Sandra, who reached out to me [00:01:00] asking if I could do an episode on this particular topic. So Sandra, this is for you.
A while back maybe a month or two, I sent out one of my weekly emails that is meant to just give you just an injection into your busy mom life or motivation or understanding or I talk about one of my tools, just trying to give the help I can through email.
And if you're not on my list to receive those, what are you waiting for? There's so much goodness and you know, you get to be in the know of what's going on with Danielle Thienel Coaching and the Peaceful Mind Podcast by receiving informational emails. You can go to my resource page on my website, DanielleThienel.com and click on resources at the top and then I believe you like scroll to the bottom and that is where it tells you that you can get [00:02:00] email announcements, my weekly newsletter and podcast information. You'll also find other resources there that you can just download for free. And then that is also where some of my other lower priced products are there for you to buy.
But getting back to the episode in one of those emails that I sent out, which I'm actually going to read to you now. It was around resentment. And this idea of being able to help solve any resentment issues that you have or challenges that you have with what I call spiritual iodine.
And then after I read this, I'm going to let you know what Sandra said. But then I'm going to offer you just some more ways to be able to apply spiritual iodine in your life so we don't let resentments that we have fester and ultimately cause us problems that we that we are [00:03:00] letting keep us from what we want in this life of ours.
So this is what the email said. It said, ever been in a situation where someone's actions left you feeling wronged or wounded? If you've found yourself grappling with resentment, here's a perspective that might resonate with you. Holding a grudge is a bit like one who, having cut one hand while handling a knife, avenges himself by stabbing the other hand. The truth is resentment doesn't just linger, it festers. It's like re filling or re doing the injury, re hurting yourself over and over. But what if there was a way to break free from this self inflicted suffering that we call resentment? I call it spiritual iodine. That is what helps you break free from resentment. [00:04:00]
So imagine the moment when you are hurt by someone. And imagine that as a fresh wound. So instead of letting that resentment fester and spread, the key is to apply a spiritual iodine promptly, right when the injury occurs or very soon after. It's about addressing the healing of your emotional hurt before it takes root and spreads. And so just as iodine prevents infection in a physical wound, spiritual iodine can safeguard your emotional wellbeing. It's the antidote for festering resentment and when you actively work to heal the hurt in the moment you prevent the emotional wounds from deepening and becoming long lasting scars.
So I invited in this email that the next time you feel the sting of [00:05:00] resentment to consider it your cue to apply spiritual iodine and address the pain head on, allowing yourself to heal and grow beyond the hurt and know that it's not about it's not about letting others off the hook, but it is about freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. So by choosing to heal in that moment, you are the one who gets to reclaim your power and avoid unnecessary self inflicted suffering. And applying spiritual iodine will be something that will be an ongoing practice, a skill that you will, will need to build over time.
And of course, I then, in the email, offer my support and insight if that's something that you are challenged with and struggling with in your life. So that about [00:06:00] summed up the email.
And then someone who read it, or Sandra who read it, she replied, I so needed this email that you sent out today. Thank you so much for it. I did want to ask of you if you could give some examples of how I would apply the spiritual iodine. And then she just goes on to tell me that, you know, the way that she operates best is needing some examples to better understand so that she would feel like that she has some actions to take in order to do that work.
And she also said she felt called by the Holy Spirit to reach out. And I love this little last part because that is what created and opened my mind up to making this for you all today. And that's when she said, if you have a podcast on this, that would be great too. So that is how I [00:07:00] came. So I just want to say thank you, Sandra.
I always want to invite you all that if you have ideas or you've read something of mine and you want further explanation, or you think I would love to hear a podcast on. X, Y, or Z subjects, or how to help you with, you know certain thing, like, please let me know. Because just like Sandra, I'm now able to to create something that maybe she wasn't the only one, right?
Now I did email her back and I did give her some examples and let me just kind of go to that now. Let's see what, I gave to her. So a little bit more. So this is what I offered, as some examples, especially right after I, I thanked her and let her know that I would for sure give her request some time and attention.
So what I wanted her to know, that I want all of you to know as well, is that our peace [00:08:00] is created from within and never from other people's words and actions. And this peace comes from our thinking and the thoughts we have about all of those words and actions that other people present to us.
So when we feel hurt by others, or we feel resentful from others actions, using what I call spiritual iodine would look something like this: taking a pause first before reacting. Okay? That's always a a great thing to do that we, we, we kind of pause, we kind of evaluate, we like check ourselves, you know, kind of say what's happening here, maybe go, you know, ask ourselves what we're feeling or, or if you can just kind of [00:09:00] like picking out, doing a thought download on what you're thinking, but that pause before reaction, before getting into action is definitely a way to be able to keep yourself from going down the road of resentment. And more so to create, you know, having the chances of creating peace.
And then another action step or an example of applying spiritual iodine would be seeking God's perspective. Like after somebody has done some actions or said words that are hurtful to you. It could be just going and asking what God's perspective is. I know that one of the ways I do this is that when I feel wronged or hurt, I immediately default on the thought, [00:10:00] Okay, God, this other person is also a child of yours. And that perspective shift helps me to stay in knowing that this person isn't less than me or I'm not, you know, any more special than them. They're a human being living a human life too. And so I can see where God would be coming if I was seeking his perspective. I know that he would be loving on that person that hurt me as well.
And I just get really curious about what God might see or think about this person. Maybe he would say like, yes, I know they're acting that way because they're hurt or this, something, you know, not great is happening in their life. And I was just the person who was at the other end of their stress. Something like that. So the example and action of spiritual iodine would be seeking God's perspective.
Along [00:11:00] the same lines is an action you could take is to inject compassion for the other person who, like I just mentioned, may be acting out from their own hurt place. Right? So that compassion is to go to what might be going on with that person that had them acting that way or doing that, that thing to me that was so hurtful. Because we know that hurt people also hurt people .
And, and lastly, from my response back to Sandra was what I teach in my program and that is about other ways to think about the situations that would help you and not continue to hurt you and how to do that. Right? And, I give you a little bit of a window into that here on the podcast, but there are some real tangible steps to take [00:12:00] that is able to retrain your brain and alter your mindset and thoughts into a way so that you are always helping yourself and doing things that are very that will serve you. Instead of the opposite, which resentment is one of those that will take you in the opposite direction of creating that life of peace and joy that I know that you want. Because if we keep focusing on how the other person shouldn't have done the thing that hurt us, or we keep focused on how they should change, or we blame them and we're in non forgiveness, that is, that not at all using spiritual iodine.
That's actually keeping the solution of spiritual iodine away. The other who hurt us may be off living their life and not even feeling, you know, discourse or whatever for having "hurt us" but [00:13:00] we're the one here suffering, right? We're the one and it's probably creating more things in our life because of it that we don't like.
But with that other person that we can't control, who is not around we want to apply the spiritual iodine to ourselves so that we can help ourselves and help get going on in our life and out of being stuck in resentment. And this, this takes being an owner. It takes being owning ourselves in our life and what we're creating and, and focusing and owning that it's up to us to get ourselves feeling better.
We can't just wait around for the other person to decide to apologize or decide to come around and say I was wrong or I shouldn't have hurt you. Because then we might be waiting there a long time and then suffering all the way through. We want to create the life we want instead of spinning in thoughts that make us feel bad and negatively affect our emotional [00:14:00] wellness and that if you are feeling resentment, that's exactly what you're doing. You are spinning in thoughts that make you feel bad. and is negatively affecting your emotional wellness.
So those are some examples and action things that I was able to offer to Sandra. And then just in general, I want to just speak to it a little bit more to help you lessen any resentments you have and how to utilize spiritual iodine.
And so I'm going to return to that example that I had given a little bit in the email that I sent and just have you go to that, that place of imagining that you're in the kitchen and you're preparing a meal for your family. And in the haste of multitasking, you accidentally cut your hand with the knife. And it's a sharp pain and you have a total moment of frustration. [00:15:00] Ah, I can't believe I did this.
Now imagine instead of treating the wound right then and there, you decide to grab the knife even tighter, which causes another cut, and this time out of anger towards yourself for the initial slip, right? So now you're angry at yourself, and you have another cut. It sounds absurd, right?
Yet, this is what we do to our spirits when we hold onto resentment. Because resentment is like a wound to our inner peace. It happens when we've been wronged or feel slighted. It is a natural emotion. Feeling it isn't a problem. Having thoughts that other people hurt me and they shouldn't have or things like that. I totally see that that's going to happen.
However, I want [00:16:00] you to see that resentment sticking around, spreading and festering, nurturing that feeling of resentment and letting it take root is very dangerous. So instead we want to become the person who, yes, sometimes somebody hurts us and sometimes we cut ourselves with a knife.
But let's talk about becoming the person who doesn't allow it to rob themselves of their peace and then you become the person who just knows how to apply that spiritual iodine to those wounds. It's not a physical substance, but what it is, it's a blend of forgiveness, understanding, and letting go.
That's what makes up this iodine. It's about treating the injury that is happening to your spirit before it festers into something much worse. [00:17:00] So you may relate to this scenario, okay? Let's say you've had a disagreement with a friend. Perhaps they forgot an important event or said something that hurt you deeply.
The initial wound is there, but every time you replay the event in your mind or hold on to the hurt, every time you say, She shouldn't have done that when she did, or he, it's like you are refusing to let that wound heal.
So how do you apply spiritual iodine? First, you acknowledge the hurt. That is a human experience. Recognize it's okay to feel hurt, to feel wounded, but then, this is the shift I'm inviting you in today, into today- then make a conscious decision to forgive, not for the other person's sake, but for your own peace. [00:18:00] Because forgiveness is that first aid that stops the bleeding of your injury, of your hurt, or the bleeding of resentment.
And then secondly, I want you to seek to understand. This is that compassion injection that I was talking in my example answers to Sandra. . Often you find that the actions of other people, they're not as personally targeted to you as you might think or might feel because everyone is fighting their own battles.
And sometimes we do get caught in the crossfire unintentionally. I know this happened for me and my children. I was stressing and worried and overwhelmed by all of the things that were going on in my mom life and my kids got caught in the crossfire a lot of the time. So the reason why I was yelling at them had nothing to do with them. It had to do with my own levels of [00:19:00] stress and just feeling empty and exhausted.
And so lastly, I want you to just learn how to let go of resentment. It's a decision. Letting go is a decision. And it doesn't mean that you gave the person permission to be hurtful. It, you just don't even have that control. But holding onto the resentment is like you carrying a heavy backpack on a really long hike. It makes your journey harder. Again, you don't have, it doesn't mean you're forgetting or condoning even what happened to you. But it means allowing yourself to move forward lighter and free from the burden of your hurts.
So many of you are carrying around past hurts and holding onto resentment and not forgiving. And [00:20:00] there's some kind of fear that you do, but I promise it's actually a freedom. It's a freedom. So remember moms, the goal isn't to never feel hurt or wronged. That is going to be part of this human life experience.
And to have zero of it is an unrealistic expectation in what I think is our beautifully messy lives. The goal is not to let these moments steal your peace and joy long term. And every time that we all choose forgiveness over resentment, when we choose understanding over anger, when we choose to let go over holding on, This is how we apply spiritual iodine to our wounds and we promote and instigate healing and we prevent that pain from deepening.
Okay, so [00:21:00] that is what I have for you today. And I want to encourage you to reflect on any areas of your life where resentment might be lingering. Where you've might have left it unaddressed and hopefully I've offered you some steps you can take today to apply Spiritual iodine because your peace of mind is worth it.
Thank you so much for being here I love you all. Let me know if I can help you in any way and I will continue to put out information and content that will help you keep embracing this human path of amazing and messiness and have a more peaceful mind. I will talk to you all next week, and until then, peace be with you always.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind [00:22:00] Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools. To create peace of mind in your busy mom life.
And if you're of the Catholic faith, like me or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances, whether you need one on one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like minded women or a self study course. I've got you covered. Explore my private one on one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course, Divine Time.
To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit. Schedule a [00:23:00] free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching.
And also don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method, How to Call On Your God-Given Power To Remain Calm, In Control, and Confident as a Busy Mom. Dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
