[00:00:00] You are listening to Episode 210 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I am so excited for this episode today because I have another special guest. It is my friend, Gabrielle Smith. Hi, Gabrielle. Oh, I'm so excited to have you here. Now I want to tell everyone how we how we came to [00:01:00] be friends.
So we, I know that we both went to the same life coach certification program, but it was through social media. Do you think? It was, it was definitely through social media. I don't even remember exactly how we found each other, but we were probably somehow interconnected through the school and the followers and probably some of our Overlapping what we talk about too.
That's right. That's exactly right. I do know that I totally attracted to the name that you have on socials, the thought trainer, right? Because that's what we're all about, right? Helping people with their thought. And especially this podcast is for peace of mind, which the thought trainer is, I think, but just through social, we kind of connected back and forth.
And then my favorite part is when we go to those in person live events. Yeah, we got to meet in person. So fun. So fun. Yes. That's yeah, that's my favorite part too, is getting to see everybody in [00:02:00] person. All the people we meet on socials, we get to see them in person and hug them. My favorite. Yeah. And plus you live close to where my daughter goes to college too.
So I think that probably. Was another reason, which is not, you know, you're a few hours from me, but I think that was probably another at the time, you know, when she was going to be at school and I'm like, Oh, my daughter's near you. Yes. Small world. Small world. It totally is. Okay. So everybody, this is why I wanted to have Gabrielle on today.
She is a purpose coach and so much do I get moms reaching out to me asking, how know what my purpose is. How do I identify it? How do I walk in this purpose? How do I align with what God meant for me to be doing right? And so what happens though, is that a lot of us aren't aligned right with our purpose And what that means is that we then take on a lot of things [00:03:00] and there are a lot of things that create overwhelm and stress for us. And so when I wanted to have Gabrielle here to help us all get back in aligned and to be intentional about how to identify our purposes and and really, , kind of question what we take on and I'm so excited for her to talk to us a little bit more about.
This purpose filter. I can't wait to dig into that. But first, Gabrielle, will you just like introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about yourself and and then we'll dig in. Yes. So like you said, I'm a purpose coach. I'm, I'm also a wife and a mom. And in my coaching practice, I help women, I help women coaches specifically decide on a niche, but within the niche, it's strongly aligned to their purpose because I believe that who we're meant to serve aligns perfectly with our purpose, with what God has called us to be.
So I'm passionate about [00:04:00] helping women walk in their purposes and being who God has called them to be. And when I'm not doing that, I enjoy spending time with my family, laughing and being silly, reading and eating Chick fil A that is my jam. I love it. I love it too. And so does my teenage boy.
My teenage daughter does too. So that's, that's awesome. Yeah. I think his motto is will work for Chick fil A gift cards. Oh my gosh. Yes. Tis the season. Yeah. Okay. So, so good. So here's my first question for you. What was your purpose journey? Because a lot of times when we become a coach it's about things that we struggled with.
Like, that's why I help Catholic moms with overwhelm and stress because that was exactly me before I found coaching and had my life transformed by all that it offers. So what was your purpose journey? And why do you think purpose is so [00:05:00] important, especially to us busy moms?
So similar to you, it was definitely my struggle. Finding my purpose was a struggle for me. I was several years into my career as a software engineer. I think I just had my daughter and I was I was sitting at work one day and I just realized that. This ain't it, this ain't it I, you know. I enjoyed it and, you know, of course, by all other standards, I should be happy and, you know, I was making the money I was, you know, I had a beautiful family, all the things I was quote unquote successful, but I didn't feel it, I felt something, I felt misaligned, ultimately is what it, what it was, and I just knew that this, there had That to be more to what God had called me to do.
And so, I set out on this journey to find my purpose. And what that looked [00:06:00] like at the time was really was trying different things. So, I tried several things. I tried doing fashion. Blogging, I tried, I tried doing reselling. I tried several things to figure out like, what is that thing? And I remember going to a conference where I first.
First found out that our thoughts create our feelings and Right mind blowing information. . Yes. Yeah. And I was like, whatcha about? And so I went on down that path and kind of down a rabbit hole with the whole self-development piece. And that's when I found out about the school where we got certified and I was like, Oh my goodness, this is it, you know, but I think if I dig a little deeper than that, I realized that.
I knew that I wanted to do [00:07:00] something in service to people in this way. And like, I wanted to help people feel better. I wanted to help people do better and be who they're meant to be. I just didn't know how to do that. I thought I was thinking I was thinking therapy and I would have to go to school and be a therapist.
And I'm just like, I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to have to go through all of that. So I think just in my mind, trying to figure it out how I could do it, I kind of shut it down because I'm just like, I don't want to go to school. Like I thought it wasn't possible ultimately is what it was.
Okay. And so. But yeah, and so I think I got certified and figured out that life coaching was how I could actually serve and help people in the way that I wanted. So I went that route and I have not gone back. And so I realized that I want to help other people who were in the same predicament as I was where you're out here and you're living life and you, you feel like you should be happy, but you feel like something is [00:08:00] missing.
Yes. That's who I want to help. Well, we know that that is exactly what a lot of people who feel like we all can resonate with having been in that place before. Yeah. I love when you talk about like how you felt misaligned. I have an example of when I was in a similar situation with a job where I just, Again, it was like, it was fine, but it still just felt like mechanical, like going in and out.
And then I had this thoughts. Well, I need to have this job or I need to have this income. Right. But just something inside it, it just wasn't like, it just didn't have the full piece about it. Like, I love how you say like, this just wasn't it. It wasn't like, I felt like there was more gifts. That I, that weren't being utilized it's really hard to put into words, right?
That, that feeling, but I like how you just said that, like, it feels like there were gifts that weren't being used. I think that's exactly what it felt like. Like you said, mechanical. I think it just felt like I [00:09:00] was going through the motions and you know, and I would argue with myself, like, why can't you just be happy?
Like other people, there are other people out here who go to work and they come home and they do what they want to do. And it's fine. Hey, why can't you just be happy with your life the way that it is? And I just could not get there. There's a sense of guilt, right? Like you said, when, when you have this beautiful family and you have your health or if things are going well, and then you, you feel like I should be happy when I have all this.
So that's where I want to speak to the women that they right now have no idea what their purpose is and and I also want to state just sometimes the way we're talking about when we talk about our jobs. This is outside of our vocation, right? Of being a wife and a mom, but it's also I want to just acknowledge that a lot of times that is the stage where you're at, where that you can choose that that is your purpose.
Your purpose is to be a wife. Your purpose is to be a mom. . And so there's, wiggle room here as we speak about, we're not talking [00:10:00] about just having a job outside our roles, you know, as mom and wife to be purposeful. It's, it's one thing that, that I think I learned through coaching.
And, correct me if, this isn't something of the way that you look at it is that I see that most people believe that their purpose is something outside of them. Like there is a treasure buried that it's, and on the, on the front of the treasure box, it says your purpose. Okay. And then you're trying to look for the map to finally get there to open up this box that you will then.
Find your purpose, something outside of you, but the way of what through coaching has taught me is that it's inside of us, that it, it's something that we get to decide what it is. And then of women of faith, I say, yeah, we want to ask God to help reveal that to us or to make a decision and then help us guide us on that decision.[00:11:00]
But it is up for us to decide. Does that align with how you look at purpose as well? 1000%. Yes. And I think too, like it goes back to, I remember thinking that I was in a way kind of scared to look for my purpose because I was thinking that like, what if it's something like Oprah. Or like Beyonce, you know, I'm just like, yeah, I have zero desire to that's right on stage in front of millions of people.
Right. And so I, I was kind of afraid, but it's like you said, I was looking out there. For what the answer was and what I found through coaching the same as you is that it was the answers were inside of me and I think I was minimizing those or just kind of brushing those desires away because I think that's such a great point.
. I just think that so many people are going to relate to that [00:12:00] thinking like. Oh, you know, I didn't realize, like, I get to decide. I think we are thinking and looking at other people out there and wanting to say, yeah.
And the fact that you brought up that as soon as you look at others or you kind of come up with this idea of what it might be, then the fear sets in the scared, like, because of what it will take to get there. So if this is you listening and you're like, I think that's what's happening to me, let's just, let's just address what you would recommend to help them figure out.
At this point, if that's them thinking, I don't know what my purpose is or I thought of what it was, but there'll be too many changes or I'm scared to go after that because everybody is kind of like you said, in your example, wanting to know how, yes, well, the first thing I would offer people in terms of trying to figure it out, I've, I've come up with this purpose formula [00:13:00] and I love formulas really.
It's really simple yet powerful. So I think about purpose as your God given gifts plus your life experiences. And that gives you your purpose. So I believe that God gives us our, our unique gifts, right? That each of us have. And He allows us to go through certain experiences in our lives and overcome certain things so that we can help other people through similar situations.
And so I think putting those two pieces together would will give you your purpose. So, for example if I look at mine, my. My gifts are number one, like listening and [00:14:00] encouraging and being able to see the humanness. In people that's one of my most powerful gifts and like relationship building.
And so those are my gifts and then combine that with my life experience. One being one that we talked about my purpose journey and the challenges that I experienced through that putting those two together. Then I'm, I'm, I'm a coach who helps. Other people. And I chose women, right? I chose women because I relate to women more or better.
And put that together. So I help, I'm a coach who helps women figure out their purposes. And that is my, that is the purpose of my life. And that's the one that I've chosen and owned. For myself through the inner work and really just checking in with myself to what it is that I truly desire. [00:15:00] And that's what I would encourage you to do is, is look at the gifts, the gifts that you have, and then your, some of your life experiences and just kind of brainstorm.
Cause we have like, one of the main questions I get from clients is well, how do I know which life experience, you know, because we all have. We're humans. We go through all kinds of things. And what I like for people to use to pick one or two or three is like the most impactful, the most impactful. And when you think about that experience that you went through, and you think about someone else going through that exact same thing, like you The pain and the struggle that they're experiencing right now, and you would love to help them navigate that situation.
So good. I love that. . So it takes a little bit, what you're, what, how you're explaining, it takes a little bit of introspection, right? It does. It's like, it will, it [00:16:00] will, it requires, what I say, it requires a pause. Yes. Oh, my God. Because so much, right? We're busy moms. We're on the go. We have so much to do.
We can only think about what we have in front of us that day. And I get it. I get that. That that is what, you know, fills our mind, but if you are someone who feels like you're not in alignment with your purpose, or for right now, you want to decide, I want to like ahead of time, I think I, I, I think I looked ahead because I was seeing the ages of my children, knowing that they would soon have a foot halfway out the door, right?
And so that's a lot. That's a a very common known time where women will. Like, you know, start to reflect and they don't want to maybe maybe the kids have already left and they're starting to feel lost or something like that. Or maybe they're feeling some resentment that they put their quote life on hold for a while or their inner desires.
But [00:17:00] anyways, I guess what I wanted to just circle back around. What I hear you saying is that it will have you asking the question to yourself. What are my God given gifts, right? And it will ask, you know, you want to answer that question. What are some of the life experiences that I had that really like Make me so viable to help somebody else to become an example for them.
It's, it's like the thing that like lights you up, it kind of just like you feel so much passion towards those people who are experiencing that same thing. And I think that feels. Complete it. It's so hard to describe, but that feeling of like that inner knowing and that alignment, you'll it'll feel so much different from anything else.
And I think you will, you will know for sure. I describe it as a piece, like a deep knowing. I see that. [00:18:00] And I always say like, it's like, oh. You know, that I know comes from heaven. That is from the spirit. That is, God has a role when I'm like you just your shoulders drop and you're just kind of like, yes, that's it, you know?
Yeah, just like when you heard that at the conference for me, like I said, I was you know, I was overwhelmed and stressed and had too much on my plate and said yes to too many things. And I was, I kept questioning what's wrong with me. I'm smart college educator should be able to figure this out.
Like I used to be really good with my time management and things like that. And then when I, and I was at a job that I knew was not aligned with my soul or my or my purpose, and that was a, it was like, it was a struggle. But now when I look back, I'm so glad that I had that experience because what I tell my clients a lot of times is a lot of times when you.
When you're really like [00:19:00] hyper aware of what you don't like, that is so helpful to shed light. On what you, where you do want to go or where, where you want to go forward. Right? Like I knew, yep, nope, this isn't at all what I want. So it helps you look forward. That, and that goes to the point of my point about, you know, during my journey, when I was trying things, you know, I would try the fashion blogging and I'm just like, that's not it, you know?
So then I'd go on to something else and it's like, Nope, that's not it. But. Like you said, it, the more you do the things and you get hyper focused on the things that you don't want, it gets you closer to what you do want, you know, and so, and I do want to offer in what I reiterate what I said before about like, what I have learned is your life purpose is literally a decision you make it to be.
You can decide today that what you are doing, where you are in your motherhood, whether you work outside the home [00:20:00] or you're, you don't, then you can be like, this is my purpose. For right now at this stage of motherhood. And I think that there's not just one be all end all purpose. We get to decide and along the line, we might have many and it and it'll it'll look differently at different at different times.
Yeah, I agree. I agree. And For some of us, like I think in certain phases, your purpose is to be a mom, like to focus on being a mom and some phases, it's the career and some phases, it's all of it, you know, I think, like, like you said, it's, it's our purpose is not one thing. Single and I'll be all it's, it's, it's life is all of the experiences and we just get to decide like where we want to put our, our focus and our energy in that during that phase.
Exactly. Okay. So moms out there who are listening, they, what is one actionable step that you [00:21:00] can offer them that if they've listened and they're like, yes, I do feel like I'm a little misaligned or feeling a little, I guess. Unpurposeful, you know, at the moment, what is it that you would tell them that they could.
That they could take action on to get started today to moving towards deciding on their life purpose. Yes, and it's I would say to take, give yourself a set of timer, sit down with a piece of paper and pen, give yourself a time or 10 to 15 minutes, sit down and work through the purpose formula first.
And then like where you're kind of brainstorming, thinking about your gifts, your God given gifts, the things that come naturally and easy for you that you do without even thinking about, and then think, and then also thinking about the life experiences that you've had that have been the most impactful and you would love to help someone [00:22:00] else through.
And then once you do that. It's allow yourself to think about all of the things that you would love to do, like, even if you would do it for free, right? Just think about the things that you would love to do. And just allow your brain to just dream, to just go there with just like ideal. I don't care how crazy quote unquote it sounds and how outlandish it sounds.
Allow yourself to go there because what happens is we. Our, our brains, well, let me just say this, allow yourself to go there and dream big without thinking that you have to do anything about it. Right. Like you, you can come up with this stuff, you can make a list and you don't have to do any of it, but just allow yourself to dream.
And the reason I say, you know, give yourself permission to not take action on any of this is [00:23:00] because our brains get so busy with trying to figure out how to make it happen, that we end up like blocking ourselves and blocking the, our true desires. Because our brain is going, our brains are going to be like, Oh, you can't do that.
That's going to take too much. You're going to have to uproot your family. You're going to have to move the kids from school. And you know, your brain starts to do all of that stuff and it blocks out our true, the truest, deepest desires. This is so good. Yeah, that, that, that's a golden part. I want to say right there that that part of even just getting the juices flowing is literally just putting your this is how we create our results, right?
Is we have to first like think about it and focus on it. And sometimes that is enough for a while. So I love that. And this might be the same advice because you just started to go down that road, but I just want to end here with one last question because there's some moms out there that. Do actually know they have this kind of [00:24:00] inner knowing what their purpose is, and then maybe they aren't acting on it at all because.
They haven't or they haven't just taken any steps to like make any progress towards fulfilling it. What would you say to her? Well, I would say to her, well, first, I would kind of just get curious about why, right? Like, why haven't you taken the step? And 9 out of 10 times, it's going to be fear, right?
Because our brains is going to be like, you can't do this. It's going to be too much, you know, all of that. But then I would say like, First of all, like I always, I know that God orders our steps and we have to go first. Right. So it's like thinking about the. Very first smallest step you can take I love it one little single small step and then take that one step and then allow God [00:25:00] to open the rest of it if you take another one he'll open up the next one you take another one he'll open up the next one so it's just one step at a time where we don't have I think a lot of times we want to have the entire year.
Plan and the entire path for entire map. Is it that treasure? Yeah. And that gets overwhelming and, and, and we get scared and shut down and end up not doing anything. So I say, just pray about it. Take the one first step and then allow God to lead your path after that. I love it. Perfect.
Perfect place to end. So Gabrielle, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. I know you tell me you're a listener, so I love, I love that you're, you get to soon listen to yourself on it. Oh my gosh, that's crazy to think about, but thank you so much. I, I really enjoyed it and I love everything you're doing over here in your community.
And I'm obsessed with listening to you and learning from you as well, so. Appreciate that. And for everybody I will have, if you want to get in touch [00:26:00] with Gabrielle and also see her awesome social media that I first loved to watch I'll have all of that information on how to contact her into the show notes.
Okay. Thanks again, Gabrielle. Thank you so much. All right, everyone. So I will talk to you again next week. And until then, peace be with you always. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the peaceful mind podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review.
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