Episode 202
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[00:00:00] You are listening to episode 202 of the Peaceful Mind Podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind Podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy, and more peace to your motherhood, this is the place for you. I'm your host, Certified Life Coach at Catholic Mom, Danielle Thienel.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, let's get started.
Welcome back to the podcast, friends. Today, I want to talk about a topic that Is so vitally important to you having a more peaceful, balanced, and joyful mom life. Because if you don't believe in [00:01:00] yourself, if you're not feeling good about yourself and have the ideas of what's possible for you and your family, you are just going to be finding yourself just kind of like butting up against a brick wall.
Believing in yourself, connecting with yourself and, and really just, again, Simply feeling good about yourself and seeing possibilities is crucial to have a kind of confidence that makes you makes, drives your actions to be able to know that you are making good decisions for yourself or right decisions for yourself.
And I want to bring it all back to that. It's whatever. You know, at the time in your life and you listening to this podcast, I'm helping you to know more, to see things differently. And so for you out there who, who do struggle in, in [00:02:00] having confidence, feeling good about yourself. I hope that today's five simple and workable steps will be a blessing to you.
So let's just learn to believe in ourselves and let's. Explore these steps that will empower you to build an unwavering self belief. And these steps are just not empty words, they're actionable, they're principles that will help you transform your mindset and your life. And that is how you change your life.
It begins on the inside. We must change our mindset first. Because that mindset, which is your, your pattern of thinking, the thoughts that become conscious to you, that is what directly creates How you feel, your emotional well being, which then drive what you are actually doing and not doing in your [00:03:00] life.
And those actions of what you're doing is what creates all the results that you have outside in your life. So we want to start with the mindset. So let's begin with step one. I want you to formulate a clear mental picture of what success is. And then this is the most important part for you, for you and your family and where you are in your motherhood right now.
Do you have a clear mental picture of what it would even look like if things. If you weren't going wrong, if your life was balanced, if you were feeling peace and joy about certain areas of your life. So that first step is to learn to believe, to learn to believe in yourself is to formulate. And I want you to stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of [00:04:00] yourself as succeeding in those areas.
It's about creating a vision for your life, a vision where success is the only outcome that you can see. So let me just share a little story to illustrate this point. I want you to imagine another mom. She's a busy Catholic mom who had always dreamed of starting her own small business. And she began by envisioning herself as a successful entrepreneur.
She saw herself confidently managing her business, thriving financially, making a positive impact on her clients and community. And she held this image and never allowing doubt to creep in, or if it did creep in, then she knew to be able to go back to the original successful mental picture. And I just want to [00:05:00] tell you all that this, that story, it illustrates myself, because I am that mom.
A few years ago, I had an idea of the kind of impact and how I wanted to help other moms, but I had to get clear on what that looked like. Who was it? What did I, what was I going to help them with? What would it look like? What would my hours be? What was my ideal number of clients? What ways would I be helping them?
And one of those ways was a book, right? And I didn't have that then. So you need to formulate a clear mental picture of success. What is that for your life right now? And can you get more clear and clear? So you can see yourself growing in belief that it's possible. Because where I started and as time went on, I had to seek the [00:06:00] ways that would turn that mental image into reality.
I had to do research, I had to network, right? And I took small but consistent steps towards this goal. And I now have that evidence behind me, I'm so, I have so much more of an unwavering belief in myself regarding what I'm capable of and how I can impact and help people. But that belief in myself had to grow along the way by first having that clear picture in my mind of what it would look like.
Okay, so step two is to replace. Negative thoughts with positive ones. Yes, it takes positive thoughts to create the positive results you would, what you have in your life. [00:07:00] And you want to become someone who learns how to move from someone who regularly thinks negatively, or that's what their brain is offering them.
If that's what you've trained your brain to think in a certain way of doing the work it takes to be someone who more naturally. goes to the positive. This takes, again, a consciousness. It involves consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Because negative self talk is an obstacle to self belief, but you have the ability to counter it.
You weren't just born this way. You're not like, you weren't, you don't have like DNA program for you to be pessimistic. Now you might have grown up in an environment like that, and it's just a way that your mind has become practiced, but you can counter it. So let me share an example of how this works, [00:08:00] right?
So, let's say, I know of one mom who decided to pursue her passion for painting, but she faced self doubt when she began, right? She began comparing herself with other artists, and she would have negative thoughts, like, and I know that as moms, When we think about our mom life, we can relate that we say that we're not good enough, or we'll say, I'll never be as talented as them, as others.
And those kinds of thoughts are the negative thoughts that keep you. From believing in yourself and really when you're thinking them and if it's something that you've thought over and over again If you are not conscious that you're someone who even thinks you're not good enough Or you'll never be as talented as them you think it's so much it becomes your truth Like that becomes your belief So we we need to go to the opposite if we want to [00:09:00] grow in belief in ourself.
We have to consciously decide that we are going to believe something else about ourselves and we might not be able to go from I'm I'll never be as talented as them to I'm way better or as talented as them Like we don't want to jump. We don't need to jump to this other Pollyanna positivity, but literally we, we can't keep thinking the, I'll never be as talented as them because that is what you will keep repeating is growing in that belief.
So you, you want to lighten it up and move a little bit away towards it. So how about I might be as talented as them. I'm learning to grow as a, as a painter, artist, and I can grow my talent to be. as talented as them. It's possible that I [00:10:00] can be as talented as them. Like, do you see how those little, and even this, I want to add one more, even the, I'll never be as talented as them.
And that's okay, because you can still have art and produce art that will bring and impact other people's lives. So isn't it almost, it's just okay that you might not be as talented as them. It still doesn't mean That you, you won't make that impact and, and that is where you will grow your belief in yourself is when you take action on that.
Right? So. So this artist, the example, who decided to pursue this passion and was facing self doubt, she had to make a deliberate effort to cancel out those negative thoughts with positive with positive ones. So she had to change her [00:11:00] focus from dwelling on perceiving her shortcomings and remind herself of her unique style.
And it was unique, and there are certain people who, who might not like it, but that's okay. There was a lot of people that did like it, including myself, because I have several pieces of that art. And she found joy in it. And then when she found joy in it, and, and then she, you know, got it out there, and there were some people who don't like it, but there's some people who really do, she gradually grew her confidence, and she realized that her journey, She was her own and she didn't need to be like anyone else.
So step two to believe in yourself is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. And this is what I help my clients do on a daily basis. It is a skill. And just the last note on this step is [00:12:00] you in order to change the positive ones You really have to uncover what the negative ones are So I highly recommend if there's something right now where you don't believe in yourself I want you to write down and ask yourself.
Why what are you thinking about yourself? And so You can see those thoughts and from there, can you tweak them in a way that feels more positive you, to you, and then you can grow in that belief about yourself. Okay, so step one, just to say, is to formulate a clear mental picture of success, and then step two is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and step three is to minimize.
So many of you go to the future or you, you just think of a goal that you want or something that you wish that you were doing right now or are having something that you [00:13:00] want, but you, you don't have that belief in yourself and you spend time collecting all of the reasons why you're not right for it, you can't get it, it's not meant for you, okay, okay.
But I want to encourage you to not inflate your obstacles by giving it a lot of airtime in your mental in your mental capacity, right? In your imagination. Don't inflate obstacles by focusing and concentrating on them. It's important that we acknowledge a difficult or we acknowledge what perhaps could be an but not to then let our fear thoughts about them magnify them.
So let's just illustrate this concept a little more. When I think of there was a mom who wanted to go back to school and pursue a degree. And she was actually one of my clients and, you know, busy, young [00:14:00] mom, several young kids, and she worried about the challenges that she might face. Her mind in her imagination, there was all the obstacles of time constraints, financial worries, fear of academic difficulties.
You know, just about the things that she liked to do now, as far as like, like working out, she went back in her mind to when she struggled. With school to begin with and just thought that it would be, you know, really played out how it was hard. And those worries kind of paralyzed her. So she wasn't taking any action on this dream that she had for herself.
But then as we coached through it, she chose a different path. She decided to study. These obstacles objectively, so we took them each one by one what her brain was imagining was an obstacle and really had built it up to like being like giant mountains to get over [00:15:00] and we broke them all down into manageable steps and we found some solutions to counteract when those obstacles would arise. And she knew that she would have, have me to support her along the path where it was needed. So for any of you, we can grow in belief in ourselves by when we do that with our obstacles. When we actually just break them down, we seek solutions to. those, those obstacles and we put that support system in place with someone to help keep us on track.
And so by minimizing these like imaginary hurdles and staying focused on her goal, she successfully signed up, she took the test that she needed to get that higher degree and she proved to herself. Right? That sometimes the obstacles that are in our minds are far larger than [00:16:00] those in actual reality.
So step three, we must minimize those imaginary obstacles. Okay, step four is to be authentically you. We can't grow in belief in ourself. If we're not actually being honest and showing up authentically with who we truly are, because I want you to grow in belief. Of your authentic self, not to have you grow in belief about someone who's not really you or someone you're pretending to be.
So this fourth step reminds you not to be like awestruck by other people or try to copy other people, but to embrace your unique self. Because nobody can be you as good as, or as efficiently as you can. I admired [00:17:00] the way that some of my friends seem to effortlessly juggle the whole work, family, social commitments.
I have one friend in mind who is just like, she works she's always been really high up in, in like a corporate kind of setting and had as many kids as I did. And she was Just always on top of doing it all groceries and laundry and to boot the reason why I I think about her so much is because She had would be able to just have people over and have a wonderful time and whip up food with no problem She seemed to always have things on hand, which is not how I was right And I thought that I needed to emulate her, like her routine and her habit and if she could do it, like, so could I, and, and I was at this time barely keeping my head up water and I was only working part time, right?
[00:18:00] And I, anyways, I, I did, I, I tried to almost copy her, but I found myself so overwhelmed and stressed. Especially when it came to trying to like entertain with people over the stress came because I don't easily gravitate and enjoy like cooking and food and planning food and actually shopping for food or anything really around food.
If you've been listening to the podcast, you know that that's one of the things that a life coach changed in my mind and perception was that I had to do those things. But anyways, I digress. Let me get back to my point. But. It wasn't until when I was trying to emulate like having lots of get togethers and parties at my house and hosting and stuff, it wasn't until I realized that, you know, that's actually one of her strengths and values and it was different from mine and I think that I'm actually better with [00:19:00] friends in like small situations like when it's just a few or I could be really good at having like just a couple like an actual couple friend over small dinner evening get together instead of these kind of big shindigs that I was thinking that what my friend did was so awesome.
So I had to brace my authenticity and develop my self belief that suited my own needs and goals. And I really did find a sense of fulfillment in that I didn't have to be. somebody else. And so to grow the belief in myself I really had to lean into what was authentically me. How I like to operate. What, what, what ways of doing things fill me up.
So that's step four. To grow in belief in yourself you've got to [00:20:00] be authentically you, Mamas. Okay, the last step I want to offer you is, is literally like daily affirmations, whatever it takes for you to have thoughts and reminders and beliefs that you want to grow in belief, we've got to put them in front of us in some form or fashion.
I don't, if it might be journaling, it might be you know, in prayer, it may be post it notes on your mirror. I love to use the daily, my daily affirmations that are actual like lines of scripture. I have found that these are already there and, and really breathe life into me and help me believe in myself.
So the two that I love that I have mentioned here before is [00:21:00] I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That helps me grow in my belief of myself always because then when I'm going in with doubt and self Self doubt and self negative talk if I come back to that affirmation if I come back to saying I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me it immediately takes my mind to him being there and to him helping me and then I'm really like if he if If he's the one giving me strength like I can do this I grow my belief and then the other one totally inspired right by Romans 8:31 is if God be for me, who can be against me?
This is such a powerful source of strength and self belief to me. So what daily affirmation can you kind of come up for yourself or borrow one of those? And can you, [00:22:00] when you're thinking about your goal, when you're visualizing that mental picture of clarity, that's in step one that I told you, can you follow that up with an affirmation and again and again to say, if this thing I'm going after, if God is for me, if he is behind me and supporting me, and then who and what could ever be against me?
I, I know of a mom, one of my clients, who has faced various challenges in her life and she has made a daily practice of repeating faith affirmations to herself and this divine support that she believed was with her carried a source of comfort and motivation, helping her navigate Her life ups and downs and they were quite full her life was quite [00:23:00] full of What most of us would look as a lot of downs it works It is impactful But also I just have to clearly like show you again What really saying daily affirmations is to you what it is is it's taking your mind to positive Thinking that really is, it is taking your mind to a focus of something that supports you, that is serving, that is helpful to you, but notice it's still, you're thinking, this is still where all of the changes that we want happen in our life and learning how to grow and believe in yourself is no different, no different than any other goal that you want, it will begin and the result will be determined by what's going on in your mind.
So I just wanted to let you guys know that these five steps, [00:24:00] they're, they're, they're simple. Right? So again, I'll go over them just to bring them to the forefront of your mind. Number one, formulate a clear mental picture of success. This can be simple. Don't let this hold you back and think that it has to be, like, perfect or, or totally like a, like, you know, abundant of things.
Like, just pick something and just get more clear than you are right now and work the mental picture. Remember, these are simple and workable. It'll just take a little bit of your time and energy, but it'll be so worth it. Step two, you want to replace negative thoughts with positivity. Again, that is simple and It's workable.
You can take some work. And if this is something that you are really seeing in yourself that you struggle with, then please reach out. This is exactly, I teach you the how [00:25:00] of how to become someone who knows how to replace negative thoughts with positivity. Step three was to minimize your imaginary obstacles.
Be on to yourselves, Mama, be on to yourselves when you are going, having a goal, but then your brain goes to all the reasons why it'll be hard and you can't do it and it's impossible and it's not meant for you and all of that. Be on to yourself. And we want that. It's very simple for your brain to do it, but it's just as simple for your brain to take each of the obstacles and counteract it or break it down.
But that is the workable part. We want to break it down. And, and come up with solutions for each of the things that we are believing are obstacles. Okay? And then step four is to be authentically you. We know it. We know when we are showing up as ourselves and declaring what we want and carrying out things that feel [00:26:00] right and good to us.
And we know when we're not. We know when we're trying to be someone we're not, when we're copying somebody else. It just doesn't feel right. Like peaceful in your soul. And so let's keep that part simple. Grow and belief in yourself is when you are acting like yourself, your true self. And then step five.
What is your daily affirmation? What are you going to pick whether it's scripture like me or a thought that you want to grow and believe in it? And then what are you going to do and put into place to be able to say this to yourself? Every single whether it's a reminder on your phone or a post it note on your mirror something in your notes section a Notebook that you have and you're going to just keep it where that you can write it down each day There's something simply and work it work it that you grow in this this [00:27:00] step to believe in yourself.
So I hope that you found these steps helpful and that you get started on them right away. And I'm always so thrilled that I can be your guide on this journey in motherhood and especially the journey to believe in yourself more. And when you do, I just want you to think no and see that the impact that's going to have on you and your family and anyone else really that you come in contact.
So we're going to formulate a clear mental picture of success, replace negativity with positivity, minimize imaginary obstacles, be authentically you and affirm your faith daily. And when you put these steps into practice, you'll find that self belief is not. This, an elusive dream, confidence is not something for somebody else, but it is a tangible reality [00:28:00] is within your grasp to have for yourself.
Okay, remember, you have the power to believe in yourself and with faith, determination and these steps that I've provided, you can achieve the greatness that you deserve and the greatness that God created you to experience here while you're on earth. Okay. Until next time, everyone. I'm so glad that you are here today.
I'm grateful. Stay blessed. Believe in the amazing person you are, and as always, peace be with you. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind Podcast. If you found value in today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review. It not only supports the podcast, but ensures you don't miss out on future episodes packed with insights and tools to create peace of mind in your busy mom life. And if you're of the Catholic faith like me, [00:29:00] or any Christian mom seeking to feel better in any area of your life, and to show up more calm, connected, and confident, I can help. Become an empowered mom who knows how to bring about the changes you desire, no matter the circumstances.
Whether you need one on one guidance to get there, prefer a group coaching program with like minded women, or a self study course, I've got you covered. Explore my private one on one packages. Join my Busy to Balanced group life coaching program or delve into my signature course, Divine Time. To find out which path is right for you, let's meet and see what's the best fit.
Schedule a free call with me at daniellethienel.com or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram @daniellethienelcoaching. And also, don't forget to get your copy of my book, The Cyclone Mom Method: How to Call on Your God-Given Power to Remain Calm, In Control, and [00:30:00] Confident As a Busy Mom dive into the digital and bonus audio version when you go to book.daniellethienel.com/new-book. You'll find all the details in the show notes too. Until next time, peace be with you always.
