The Peaceful Mind Podcast
Episode 71- This Side of Heaven: The 50/50
FULL TRANSCRIPT (without timecode)
You are listening to episode 71 of the Peaceful Mind podcast.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mind podcast, a place for creating the peace of mind, you need to be the best mom you were created by God to be. If you want to bring more balance, more joy in more peace to your motherhood. This is the place for you. I'm your host, certified life coach at Catholic mom Danielle Thienel. In the name of the father of the son and of the Holy Spirit.
Let's get started.
Hi, listeners, if you are new. Welcome. If you are steadfast, loyal listener, thank you so much for being here again this week. I'm so excited for this episode. It is a concept that has come up a lot lately with my clients, but it is universally used in my practice and to help moms just really navigate this human life. And as I titled it, it's this side of heaven, right? This concept of the 50:50 changed my life, and I hope that after you hear it today, it'll start you to look at your life a little bit differently, too.
And it is just about how we are not in heaven yet. And while we are still on this side while we are still living this human life, we need help. Facing the challenges and issues that will come our way. Okay, but before we dive in, I just wanted to remind you that I am enrolling for my group life coaching program that is starting soon. So if you haven't signed up for a free call to find out more details to see if you're a fit.
What are you waiting for? Go ahead and do that now. By the time this episode comes out, I will probably be opening up more slots of time to be available. But if you go on my calendar and schedule and do not see a time that works for you, please email me directly either DM me on Instagram or email at [email protected] and we will try to get that fit in. OK, back to the episode this side of heaven the.
So when I first came to this concept, I really fought it. I really rebelled. So let me start and preface it by saying that even I have always had this positive, optimistic attitude and saw life as half the glass half full. And I knew that I also had challenges and things that came up for me and that I wasn't always showing up the way that I wanted to.
Some of the time. But if you would ask me, I would say that my life was 90 percent positive and 10 percent negative. That's probably what I would have said. So when I was introduced to this concept, the 550, I rebelled because what the 50 50 says is that this big life that we have this if you are living a full adventurist using all of your gifts kind of going for it, realizing your capabilities, achieving your dreams, you will need to have 50 percent positive and 50 percent negative feelings in living that human life.
And I was like, what? No, I don't need 50 percent negative. I only have 10 percent negative. Thank you very much. That's how I want to view the world. But just stick with me here because just like I have now kind of moved towards knowing that I really wasn't living that full life when I stay in a place where my life is 90 10.
Then I loosened up to the idea and was stepping more forward into putting myself in places where I did, then expand and grow and go after things that I never thought were possible. All right, I'm going to. I know I started out with just kind of diving right in, but let me just kind of back up a little bit and say that. We create our feelings with our mind, k through the thoughts that we choose to think over and again and believe that when we choose these thoughts, it creates a feeling inside of us and a feeling that actually vibrates physically in your body and emotions are vibrations in our body, but they are not created by anything outside of us.
They're not created about from what other people say. They're not created by the weather or a disaster. They're not created by when we receive a diagnosis. They're they're not received when somebody else doesn't act and do the things we want them to do, like they don't cause us to feel a certain way. We feel how we feel because of a thought we have and we have positive thoughts and we have negative thoughts, those thoughts create positive feelings and negative feelings.
And then from those feelings is where we drive and take the actions that now that we take in our life. And then those actions create all the results that you have created for yourself. And just recapping that, I need to come back to feeling positive and feeling negative is is created from by our minds. But what the misconception is is that we are after this, this place of where we should be happy all the time.
And I'm going to tell you today, and this is where I kind of was like hesitant when I first learned the 50 50 was, I was like, Yeah, I do. I want to be happy all the time. I'd rather be like, you know, positive all the time.
But the thing is, is that if you are feeling that way and kind of. You know, just happy with all that's going on in your life, what the 50 tells us is that we haven't really tapped into and gone after our fullest potential and capability and that we are living a smaller life, then God might be intending us to live. Now, if you want to choose to stay that way, like to just, you know, be in your routine and do things that feel safe to you and will have you avoiding doing scary things and and putting yourself into a place where, you know, it might be uncomfortable that you might have to feel bad, like even when it comes to doing something hard or difficult.
And if you're thinking, Yeah, I just am good, I don't need to like, of course, that is your choice. But what if there is something else, something more that you are made for and that you have just in your heart? Does this desire to go after and it's not kind of leaving you that even just the kind of like complacent life is is not satisfying this longing for more fulfillment and and more just living, just big living, adventurous, right? Even if it is smaller things that you're not doing but want to do.
And I hear a lot from the moms, right, that we want to be examples of our kids for our kids. We want them to see us going after our dreams. And, you know, it shows that they're capable of doing it, too. And it's also we also want to show our children that we are humans, too, and that, yeah, we can feel negatively and uncomfortable. And that's OK. And it doesn't mean that we should give up. So the 50 50 is a mind shift in looking that.
If we're living this big life on this side of heaven, right, we know everything will be so, you know, royally, supremely happy for us when we are forever with him in heaven. But until then? Instead of striving to be royally and supremely happy here on Earth. I want to just offer that maybe we are just about being reasonably happy in this human life, because if you're reasonably happy or even just happy and feeling amazing and positive 50 percent of the time, then that means that the other 50 percent you're actually.
Growing and challenging yourself and doing hard things and being uncomfortable because that is what it will take to achieve and to get back into that 50 positive, but it'll be in such a greater way because it is worth going through that uncomfortable ness to get there. So let me give you an example from I'm from my own life, right? So it was a few years back. I've told this story before, but it is really what kind of prompted me to dive into life coaching.
It was when I was in total overwhelm. I was blaming everything. I was blaming my boss. I was blaming the hardship of a renovation and the workers, and I was feeling terrible about myself because I feel like I wasn't showing up for my kids like I wanted. And I just had this kind of story in my mind, the trauma about how there's so much to do. And I was failing at all of it, and I wasn't like having a vocation outside the home that really kind of sparked me, and I had negative thoughts about that.
And there's, you know, a whole bunch more that was going on. But I actually then quit a lot of it and was home for several months, and I kind of rewired and refilled up with some self-care for myself and focused on my prayer time. And everything was amazing. I was working out and I was visiting friends, and I was just really diving in and to my faith and carving out and making that time a priority.
And I was showing up for the kids and serving everyone in a way that really felt amazing. But after a while, I will say that it was. Not enough, dare I say that there was some other really longing and pull in my heart that said, I think I was made for more. I think there's something else. I think that my gifts could be used in a way that would impact my family and know the world.
You know, in a greater way. And so what I came to recognize is that. Prior to taking the step into getting certified as a life coach and then ultimately building a business around it, prior to that I was living that 90 10 life where I had 90 percent positive, 10 percent negative, right? And in order to get to where I am right now, which is just up leveled myself, my mental capacity, my emotional health and put all of that that I have learned and applied to my own life towards others and helping them learn what I now know and helping others upper-level every area of their life.
It took me stepping in to having a bigger life that was full of more negative feelings. I moved from the 09:10 into doing more scary things, feeling of fear, being anxious about it. I put myself out there in an online way in order to reach those that needed me and could use my gifts.
And it had me being like, embarrassed and criticized and having rejection. And really being kind of vulnerable and do you see how stepping into learning the technology that it takes and and and building like websites and and learning how to even do this podcast? It was uncomfortable. It was hard. And doing all of that, all it, having to feel that 50 percent negative or at least moving it from only having 10 percent negative in my life to upping it to having 50 percent by having to feel fear and be scared and have doubts and
be rejected and learn tech and kind of be do hard things right. All of that has now put me into a place where that 50 percent positive is just even like so much more expanded in the level of joy in that it's not just like a joy like, OK, you know, it was like a great day. It is a joy now of I am living out my best life.
I am working every day to expand and grow myself, become better and help others do the same. And I'm making an impact in the world. And I just I love what I'm producing and how I'm using the gifts that God gave me in such a greater way. So see how in order to get to this place where I am right now, it took me. Stepping into more negative feelings on purpose, so my resistance to having a life of 50, 50, 50 positive and 50 negative emotions and feelings is now the goal.
And I wouldn't want to go back to the 90 10 now sometimes, right? We do want to get to the place where we are content and enjoying all that we have. I am all for that. I am all for celebrating when life does feel like, OK, we've got this. Everything is good. I'm content, yes. But it just know that going in and out of the positive and negative going back and forth is actually what we're aiming for.
And this just wasn't how I saw the world before. And so that's what I why I wanted to offer it to all of you because here is what I have come to know is true that the only reason why we ever want to achieve something or have something is because of the feeling we believe we will have once we get it, once we acquire it, right? So it is a misnomer, though, to think that once you have X or once you achieve Y or once you are feeling Z, then you'll become, then all will be well, then all will be right and then it's kind of smooth sailing right until we go to heaven.
But here's the thing. And you know this if you look back on all the things that you've achieved and you thought, Oh, if I only do this once I get married, then everything will be OK. And then it's like, Oh, when I buy my house, that's when everything's all organized and cleaned up. Then I'll feel relaxed. And then that time comes. And yes, you might feel accomplished and proud and excited when you have it, but it is fleeting. Yes. You can look back on every goal we've reached and what happens.
Like, Yes, we feel good, but it's fleeting because the way that we're wired and part of what I believe of why we're here on Earth is to be challenged and grow and become more like Christ. OK? And it's going to mean a life like he had, which had challenges and sorrow and difficulty. Right? If we look at his life, would we kind of say that it was 50-50 as well? Right? He had 50 percent negative and 50 percent positive.
But it was for him to carry out his full mission before he ascended into heaven. And so I wanted to just offer this concept to you all in case you were having the fort area that you were trying to make things like happy for you all the time, and that there comes a time when you would feel good all the time, or that when you are feeling that life is all good, that you do enjoy it for a while, but also know that this imperfect world, this non trouble free world, will offer you more circumstances that you will have to face.
And that will at many times have you going to thoughts that will bring you negative feelings. And I want you to know that that's OK and that you want to. Step into those negative feelings and know that they are going to bring you to a greater version of you. And that we might not want to avoid feeling bad.
We want to actually learn how to get good at feeling bad because it is just a feeling and we can move through it to make ourselves better to get to that new version. And we know what it feels like to to actually do something hard and difficult and come out on the other side. It's do you know how I speak of it in a way where it's just like even more rewarding when it was kind of challenging and difficult? That's what I'm talking about with the 50-50 that we don't want to avoid or resist and kind of keep ourselves small going away from negative emotions.
I want you to view that that's actually something that is an indicator that you are still on this side of heaven and that that's how it was meant to and supposed to be. So I want to leave you with these questions so that you can take a look at what the answers are for yourself. If you had to choose the percentage of your life right now, that is positive and negative, where do you fall? As far as is it, how close to 50-50 are you? Would you say that you were like I was believing previously that I was 90 10 positive and 10 percent of my life was kind of full of negative emotion.
And so that I was thinking that everything was all good. That that's what I where I wanted to stay. And now I I see how 50-50 is actually allowing me to live a bigger, more full, robust human life. Or are you thinking like, no, I'm actually more than 50 percent negative and I have little less of the positive on side.
Maybe you're thinking that youre, I don't know, 20 percent positive and 80 percent negative. And if so, then I would even just have you invite you more to join me in coaching your brain to redirect and rewire in looking at how you can create more positive in your life. And invariably, if you are. On the heavy positive side, I still invite you to come because, like me, you will then be able to learn how to be the person who steps into the negative feelings in life in order to get through them and experience them and not avoid, react or resist them.
Because that longing in your heart for more is on the other side of learning how to deal with negative emotion. And this is what you get. You get to be able to create the positive that you want and to learn how to process through the negative. And this is what I can help you with, because when you're ready. I gotcha. OK, thanks for joining me this week, and I can't wait to talk to you again soon.
Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of the Peaceful Mind podcast. Are you ready to take everything I teach you here and put it to work for your own life to really learn how to have peace of mind, no matter what is happening around you? If so, I'd love to have you as a client, as your coach. This is where you'll get personal and focus time on your own mind using life coaching tools, concepts and proven life transforming wisdom all through a faith filled lens. To learn more about how we can work together.
Come on over to DanielleThienel.com. There you'll see how to sign up for a free coaching consult and learn how to get started. Until next time. Peace be with you always.
