3 Vital Steps To Peaceful Parenting

Parenting is something I talk a lot about with my clients. And with good reason! It’s one of the most important and long-lasting things we do in our lives. 

It can be challenging to be the parent you want to be day after day. After all, your life is full of other commitments and stresses outside of your kids. We all want to do our best for our children. 

Today I want to give you some actionable steps that you can use to become a more peaceful parent.

Step 1: Peace With The Past

The first vital step in peaceful parenting is to go down memory lane and see how you are currently writing the story of your past. You want to become aware if you are looking at your past parenting in the most favorable light you can muster or not.

What do you think about your parenting? How are you speaking about it? What are you telling yourself and others? Are those things being considered or talked about in a way that serves you and brings you peace now?

If not, I want you to consider the option to totally let go of what you didn’t like about your past parenting. Forgive and forget the mistakes you think you made as a parent. Stop bringing yourself suffering over things that can't be changed. Those things were actually supposed to happen because they did happen. 

Then, you get to work at rewriting and retelling yourself the story of your past parenting in a way that brings you feelings of peace instead of regret. The past can’t be changed, and wanting things to be different only brings you pain now.

Whatever we tell ourselves about how we acted up until now, the details about what took place in our past up until this point is on us. We make it mean something based on how we look at it and the story we tell ourselves.

Start telling yourself a different story about it all!

Keep all the good parts. Remember how you made every doctor’s visit or wrote down all the milestones. Remember how you prayed over them when they were sleeping or drove them to thousands of athletic practices.

Look at each chapter of your story and remind yourself that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Your heart desires to be the best parent. However, you are human with frailties and misgivings too. You continued to learn and try again.

So, I ask you to release the things you have done in the past and rethink them in a new way. The new story is what matters now.

Step 2: Peace In The Present

The second step is to choose peaceful thoughts about your parenting right now in the midst of your current circumstance. 

Whatever stage of parenting you are in right now, with whatever age children you have, and whatever your situation may be, how you think about it all right now is what will bring you peace.

How can you believe you are doing a great job as a parent right now? You simply ask your brain to go looking for all the evidence that you are a great parent. Try it! 

The answer might be something like:

• You fed your kids today.
• You gave them a hug and a kiss.
• You prayed for them this morning.
• You played a game with them.
• You didn’t lose your temper when they didn’t listen the first time.
• You care about their day and ask them about it.
• You give them a safe place to talk.

This list could go on and on.

Thinking this way will give you a feeling of peace about your parenting. Focusing on your mistakes doesn’t bring you peace, and it doesn’t motivate you to change. You get to choose where you focus.

Step 3: Peace In The Future

The third vital step is to choose to think positively about the future.

Do you see a future you like? Do you believe your kids will turn out fine? Or do you think about the future and feel worried?

I want to invite you to choose to believe that all will be well. I encourage you to let your imagination work hard to create a picture that brings you peace. See your children thriving and being wonderful human beings in the world. Picture them married to great spouses. Picture those grandbabies and step into the parent you want to be in the future.

Instead of worrying about what might be, purposefully generate peace about the future. The challenges that the future may hold are meant to be felt and experienced later when they happen. 

What you think now will ultimately create the results you get in the future.

If you believe things like, “I may ruin my kids,” “I’m not setting a good enough example,” or “They might get hurt or take the wrong path,” it instills feelings of doubt, worry, and guilt. From those negative feelings, you’ll create a future full of results that loop around to bring you more worry, doubt, and guilt.

Instead, look at how you want to feel about your job as a parent, no matter what the future brings. 

The future is yet to be written.

Believe that you’ll raise amazingly successful kids. Believe you will give them all they need to be the wonder God created them to be. Remember that your job is to do the best you can with the time you have with them. God is in control of the future. Trust that he will help you and help your children when the time comes.

You Don't Have To Wait For Peace

The most wonderful part of all of this is the choice we have to feel at peace about our past, present, and future. You don’t have to wait to feel peace. You can think peaceful thoughts about your past and future while being peaceful in the present.

If the idea of having a Catholic or faith-based life coach appeals to you, I’d love for you to join me on a free 45-minute Back to Balance Strategy Call. I can get to know you, offer coaching tools, and tell you about working with me to reach your life goals and help you make improvements.

>>Schedule your call here.

by Danielle Thienel @daniellethienelcoaching

Danielle is a wife, mom, member of the Catholic faith, certified life coach, host of The Peaceful Mind Podcast, and author of The Cyclone Mom Method. She is dedicated to helping moms live with more peace, balance, and joy and stepping into their God-given potential.